TNSN: The Terra Nova Social Network
by ebi pers
Summary: The people of Terra Nova start social networking. This could get a little crazy. Crackfic! Please read and review! The twelfth and final chapter is now up. Thank you ALL for so many incredible reviews and ideas!
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Hi everyone! I've been itching to write a crackfic for a while now and this sort of just ran way in my mind. A while back, I read the story "Facebook" by the-stretch-beyond-spandex. This story is an excellent read for anyone familiar with the Marvel universe, and I strongly recommend it. So I read it, thought it was hilarious, and after watching Terra Nova I got an idea to do a similar story for them. Yes, this is cracky, but I hope you think it's funny anyhow. Again, I take NO CREDIT for this idea—this is all the idea of the-stretch-beyond-spandex. I'm just borrowing it and applying it to a different fandom. Please leave a review, I love those!**

**Side note: Names are bolded. **

**Maddy Shannon **is in a relationship with **Mark Reynolds**.

_Josh Shannon, Elisabeth Shannon, and five others like this._

**Josh Shannon: **'In a relationship' seems remarkably casual…

**Maddy Shannon: **Sorry, but 'in a courtship' isn't one of the choices.

**Jim Shannon: **So…it's official, then?

**Maddy Shannon: **:D

**Jim Shannon: **Reynolds better watch himself…

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds <strong>is in a relationship with **Maddy Shannon.**

_Maddy Shannon, Dunham, and six others like this._

**Maddy Shannon: **We are now official!

**Dunham: **Yeah, buddy!

**Mark Reynolds: **You bet we're official!

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds <strong>is now friends with **Jim Shannon.**

_Maddy Shannon and three others like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon <strong>to **Mark Reynolds****: **I'll be keeping an eye on you. Be careful with my daughter. I've got a weapon...

**Mark Reynolds: **Of course, sir. I would never do anything to harm Maddy…

**Maddy Shannon: **Dad, what did we say about scaring my boyfriend?

* * *

><p><strong>Elisabeth Shannon <strong>listed** Jim Shannon **as her husband**, ****Maddy Shannon**as her daughter**, **and**Josh Shannon** as her son.

_Three people like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon and four others <strong>are now friends with **Nathaniel Taylor**.

_Five people like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor <strong>to **Mark Reynolds**, **Jim Shannon**, **Tim Curran**, **and two others: **Meeting tomorrow morning, 0900 sharp. Can you make it?

**Dunham: **As if we had a choice…

**Mark Reynolds: **I can make it, sir.

**Tim Curran: **I'll be there.

**Reilly: **Me too.

**Jim Shannon: **I have to drop Zoe off to school so I'll be a few minutes late.

* * *

><p><strong>Elisabeth Shannon <strong>is now friends with **Malcolm Wallace**.

_Malcolm Wallace likes this._

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>The awkward moment when your new hair growth formula grows hair in all the wrong places…

**Jim Shannon: **That is seriously disgusting.

**Elisabeth Shannon: **I doubt anyone at the clinic will be able to help you, Malcolm…

**Nathaniel Taylor: **…

**Malcolm Wallace: **Oh come on! It was a noble goal!

**Jim Shannon: **The plight of the old and balding…

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon: <strong>Should I be disturbed that **Andrew Fickett (Ken Horton)** is attempting to send me a friend request?

_Jim Shannon, Mark Reynolds, and two others like this._

**Jim Shannon: **The sneaky bastard's been hacking the internet signal from the brig again, hasn't he?

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Problem solved.

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds: <strong>Date tonight with **Maddy Shannon**. Did you decide what you'd like to do yet?

_Maddy Shannon and two others like this._

**Dunham: **I'm sure she'd like to do you!

**Maddy Shannon: **I guess we could just go to the marketplace and wander the stalls. There's tons to see.

**Maddy Shannon: **And **Dunham **needs to stop creeping…

**Reilly: **I'll take care of that for you…

* * *

><p><strong>Josh Shannon <strong>is now friends with **Skye "Bucket" Tate**.

_Skye "Bucket" Tate likes this._

**Josh Shannon: **It's about time you created a profile.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **I've been busy.

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>listed **Skye "Bucket" Tate** as his sister.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Hell no! How did you even get onto my friends' list?

**Lucas Taylor: **I always admire a woman who shoots me twice…

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Sorry to disappoint you, dear brother, but I will be blocking you right away…

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>likes "Dayflowers," "Brachiosaurs," and two other pages.

_Mark Reynolds likes this._

**Mark Reynolds: **Good times…

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>checked in at "Terra Nova Marketplace" with **Mark Reynolds**.

_Mark Reynolds, Elisabeth Shannon, and two others like this._

**Jim Shannon: **Tell **Mark Reynolds** that I'm sitting right across the market from you. I can see him.

**Maddy Shannon: **Go home, Dad.

* * *

><p><strong>Zoe Shannon <strong>is now friends with **Maddy Shannon**, **Elisabeth Shannon**, and three others.

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Zoe, I thought we discussed this already. You are too young to have a social networking profile!

**Zoe Shannon: **But Mommy! **Nina** has one!

* * *

><p><strong>Nina: <strong>Would anyone like to help me look for the vampire who came through on the tenth pilgrimage?

_Zoe Shannon likes this._

**Maddy Shannon: **THERE ARE NO VAMPIRES ON TERRA NOVA!

* * *

><p><strong>Zoe Shannon <strong>listed **Maddy Shannon** as her sister, **Josh Shannon** as her brother, **Elisabeth Shannon** as her mother, and **Jim Shannon** as her father.

_Jim Shannon, Elisabeth Shannon, and two others like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>is now friends with **Tasha Guzman**, **Hunter**, and two others.

_Tasha Guzman, Hunter, Skye "Bucket" Tate, and two others like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Skye "Bucket" Tate: <strong>Chess game with **Nathaniel Taylor**. Lay your bets now…

_Hunter, Josh Shannon, and three others like this._

**Josh Shannon: **Ten terras on Skye.

**Hunter: **I'll take that bet. No way she's going to win against the commander.

**Tasha Guzman: **I'll take Josh up on that offer too.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Thanks for the confidence, guys…

* * *

><p><strong>Josh Shannon: <strong>**Hunter** and **Tasha Guzman** now owe me ten terras each.

_Skye "Bucket" Tate likes this._

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor <strong>is now friends with **Mira**.

**Jim Shannon: **WHAT? I think I just choked and died…

**Nathaniel Taylor: **The way I see it—if she was stupid enough to friend me, who am I to say no?

**Mira: **That was a mistake! I meant to friend **Lucas Taylor**. You, on the other hand, will be deleted and blocked.

**Nathaniel Taylor: **I'll try to hide my disappointment, then.

* * *

><p><strong>Hunter: <strong>So who's up for a trip to the waterfall?

_Josh Shannon, Skye "Bucket" Tate, and two others like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Josh Shannon<strong>, **Skye "Bucket" Tate**, and three others checked in to "The Waterfall."

* * *

><p><strong>Tommy Boylan <strong>to **Josh Shannon****: **I do read my newsfeed. Thanks for letting me know that you were going to be out of work today…

**Josh Shannon: **Sorry, Boylan.

**Tommy Boylan: **You're lucky I like you, kid…

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor <strong>listed **Lucas Taylor** as his son.

**Lucas Taylor: **You're kidding, right?

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Had to try…

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor<strong> changed his relationship status to "Widowed."

**Jim Shannon: **I feel sad now.

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Agreed.

* * *

><p><strong>Elisabeth Shannon: <strong>I just pulled an enormous parasite from a patient. Off to meet **Jim Shannon** for lunch now!

_Jim Shannon, Maddy Shannon, and two others like this._

**Maddy Shannon: **Barf.

**Jim Shannon: **Hopefully we'll talk about something else over lunch?

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Was **Hunter** involved?

**Hunter: **Cheap shot…

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds<strong> to **Maddy Shannon**: So, where should we go tonight?

_Maddy Shannon likes this._

**Maddy Shannon: **The Eye?

**Mark Reynolds: **Sounds good. I'll pick you up at eight.

**Jim Shannon: **And bring her home by nine.

**Maddy Shannon: **FML…

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>checked in to "The Eye" with **Mark Reynolds**.

_Mark Reynolds likes this._

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Mark Reynolds****: **What an amazing night!

_Mark Reynolds likes this._

**Mark Reynolds: **Better than mud and climbing trees?

**Maddy Shannon: **Easily.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There. That's a chapter. If you guys like it I'll try to do more. Again, this was all the idea of the-stretch-beyond-spandex, not mine at all. But I hope you enjoyed it anyway. Please leave a review and, if reader response is good, I'll add more to it. Thanks, everyone! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: WOW! In one day I've racked up more than twenty reviews! This just proves how awesome you guys are! I'm going to go out on a limb here and say you guys liked this idea…? I wasn't going to update this quickly but I decided since you all are so great you deserved a reward, so I stopped work on my other pieces to complete this while I was at my grandparents' house (not much to do there except play Uno and write.) I hope you guys will enjoy this just as much as the last chapter. And due to popular demand, I've decided to write in Alicia Washington! Proof that your reviews can be answered! So please leave more reviews for me, because I love those. A lot.**

* * *

><p><strong>Alicia Washington <strong>is now friends with **Nathaniel Taylor**, **Jim Shannon**, and ten others.

_Mark Reynolds, Nathaniel Taylor, and eight others like this._

**Lucas Taylor: **Wait…what?

**Alicia Washington: **Not dead yet, bitch.

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>likes "Naomi Scott" and three other pages.

**Josh Shannon: **Who's Naomi Scott?

**Maddy Shannon: **An actress from 2011. She was on this really amazing television show on FOX. Super talented…

**Josh Shannon: **I thought we weren't allowed to break fourth wall…

**Maddy Shannon: **You've just broken fourth wall by acknowledging that I've broken fourth wall.

**Josh Shannon: **Dammit!

**Maddy Shannon: **Superior intellect :D

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon: <strong>I have an announcement: I AM PREGNANT!

**Mark Reynolds: **WHAT?

**Jim Shannon: **I agree: WHAT?

**Maddy Shannon: **I did NOT write that! I swear it's not true! JOSH…!

**Josh Shannon: **You should probably change your password to something less obvious :P

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon: <strong>I have now changed my password. And **Josh Shannon **will never guess this one…

**Josh Shannon: **Is it markreynolds?

**Maddy Shannon: **Screw you…

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Play nice now.

* * *

><p><strong>Alicia Washington: <strong>Anyone up for a pick-up game after patrol?

_Mark Reynolds, Tim Curran, and two others like this._

**Jim Shannon: **I'll be ref! Who wants to bribe me the most?

**Mark Reynolds: Dunham **will bribe you the most—it's the only way he's going to win :P

**Dunham: **Ouch…a little early for trash talk, isn't it? And nobody bet on this game or else **Tim Curran **may kill you with a dinosaur…

**Reilly: **Dude. Too soon…

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>Who was the bloody genius who thought it would be funny to key my rover?

_Jim Shannon, Alicia Washington, and eleven others like this._

**Alicia Washington: **Take your pick—everyone here hates you anyway…

**Jim Shannon: **What she said.

**Malcolm Wallace: **Bloody hilarious, isn't it?

**Jim Shannon: **Actually, it is.

**Nathaniel Taylor: **I'll have **Jim Shannon **look into it for you.

**Jim Shannon: **If I must…

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon: <strong>Anyone with information regarding the vandalism of **Malcolm Wallace**'s rover, please see me.

_Malcolm Wallace likes this._

**Alicia Washington: **Do you honestly think the vandal's just going to give himself up?

**Jim Shannon: **Worth a shot. The investigation is now closed.

**Malcolm Wallace: **What? You didn't even look for actual clues. You just made a status about it!

**Jim Shannon: **Sorry. The trail's run cold.

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace <strong>to **Nathaniel Taylor**: Your sheriff didn't do a bloody thing for me!

**Nathaniel Taylor: **If he says there's nothing he can do, there's nothing he can do.

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds <strong>to **Maddy Shannon**: May I have the honor of taking you to the orchards this evening?

_Maddy Shannon likes this._

**Maddy Shannon: **Yes you may! I'd love to go to the orchards with you!

* * *

><p><strong>Zoe Shannon <strong>to **Jim Shannon**: Daddy, can you come home early to read me a bedtime story tonight?

_Jim Shannon likes this._

**Jim Shannon: **What's wrong with Mommy reading you a bedtime story?

**Zoe Shannon: **She doesn't do the voices right.

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Bad luck, kiddo, Daddy's working late again.

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>checked in to "Terra Nova Orchards" with** Mark Reynolds.**

___Mark Reynolds likes this._

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>Alright, who was the bloody idiot who parked my rover in the middle of a carnotaur's nest?

_Jim Shannon and Alicia Washington like this._

**Jim Shannon: **Hahahahahahahahaha!

**Malcolm Wallace: **Stop enjoying this so much and open a bloody investigation!

**Jim Shannon: **No way! I'm not paid to deal with carnos. At least not when it comes to a grand theft case.

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace <strong>to **Nathaniel Taylor**: Kindly ask your sheriff to recover my rover, will you?

**Nathaniel Taylor: **I'm afraid I can't. That rover's not going anywhere 'til those carnos clear out.

**Malcolm Wallace: **Flipping brilliant…

* * *

><p><strong>Mira<strong> and two others are attending the event "Raid on Terra Nova."

_Mira, Lucas Taylor, and two others like this._

**Mira: **So who's in for tonight?

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Thanks for the heads up.

**Mira: **I thought I blocked you!

* * *

><p><strong>Mira <strong>checked in at "Terra Nova—Southeast Gate."

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Go get her, boys.

**Mark Reynolds: **Yes, sir.

* * *

><p><strong>Mira <strong>checked in to "Terra Nova Brig."

_Nathaniel Taylor, Alicia Washington, and four others like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Mira <strong>checked in at "Terra Nova—Northern Gate."

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Dammit! She's loose!

**Alicia Washington: **She got away, sir.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And there you go! Another chapter, because I love you guys so much! And yes, Alicia Washington is technically dead but this is a crack fic, so it doesn't have to make sense. And besides, you guys asked for her, so I delivered. I hope that I'll get some more awesome reviews for this chapter. If you guys are really good, I may even write a third! Thanks for reading! **


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: You guys are too awesome! I couldn't possibly leave you with only TWO chapters. So I'll say this: I've decided to continue this story for at least one more chapter after this. I'm only promising four chapters total, BUT if reader response is as good as it has been, that can change very easily. I really want more reviews on my other stories too, so that may also influence my decision (nudge, nudge). Anyway, enjoy this here update and keep your eye out for the next one!**

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>to **Skye "Bucket" Tate**: Good news, sister. I've decided to forgive you for shooting me. Twice. In the chest.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Whoopee. I'll try to contain my excitement…

**Alicia Washington: **What you really should be praying is that I forgive you for…you know…

* * *

><p><strong>Mira <strong>is married to **Lucas Taylor**

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Someone tell me this is all a sick joke.

**Jim Shannon: **Me too…

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Better her than me…

**Maddy Shannon: **Josh…

**Josh Shannon: **Hi!

**Mira: **Damn you all. I'm changing my password. Again.

**Lucas Taylor: **I don't know…I kind of like it!

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Barf.

**Lucas Taylor: **I kind of like you too (wink, wink).

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Back off, creeper.

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>is in a relationship with **Skye "Bucket" Tate.**

**Hunter Boyce: **…

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **First you list me as your sister. Now you're listing us as in a relationship? What the hell is wrong with you?

**Jim Shannon: **It may be time to consider some cyber-stalking legislation for Terra Nova…

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor: <strong>Getting the stitches out of my gunshot wounds today!

_Lucas Taylor likes this._

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **You liked your own status?

**Lucas Taylor: **Yes.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Classy.

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon: <strong>Like my status for a "remember when…"

_Mark Reynolds, Nathaniel Taylor, and five others like this._

**Alicia Washington: **Seriously? You're actually doing this?

**Maddy Shannon: **Eh. Why not?

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Mark Reynolds: **Remember when…last night?

_Mark Reynolds likes this._

**Jim Shannon: **What happened last night now?

**Maddy Shannon: **…

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Nathaniel Taylor: **Remember when…you held my boyfriend at knifepoint?

_Nathaniel Taylor and Alicia Washington like this._

**Nathaniel Taylor: **I was having a bad day…

**Alicia Washington: **I was the one who shot him!

**Nathaniel Taylor: **I never did pay you back for that one, did I?

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Jim Shannon: **Remember when…you saved me from an evil, overgrown creature that was attempting to murder me? That spider was pretty big, too.

_Jim Shannon likes this._

**Jim Shannon: **Asparagus!

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Josh Shannon: **Remember when…I smacked you in the back of the head?

**Josh Shannon: **But…you didn't…

**Maddy Shannon: **Give it a minute.

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Elisabeth Shannon: **Remember when…I ran screaming in terror from that awful internship?

_Elisabeth Shannon likes this._

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Better you find out now rather than on the operating table…

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Zoe Shannon: **Remember when…you were convinced there were vampires running around Terra Nova?

**Nina: **There are STILL vampires running around Terra Nova!

**Zoe Shannon: **It's just not the guy we thought...

**Maddy Shannon: **sigh…

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Andrew Fickett (Ken Horton): **Remember when…you tied me up and attempted to kill me? How's prison?

_Andrew Fickett (Ken Horton) likes this._

**Andrew Fickett (Ken Horton): **It's actually quite nice in here…

**Jim Shannon: **So you hacked the internet signal again, I see…

**Andrew Fickett (Ken Horton): **Oh crap.

* * *

><p><strong>Zoe Shannon: <strong>Who wants to help me float my dinosaurs in the bathtub?

_Nina likes this._

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Zoe, if I find a huge mess of water in the bathroom when I get home you will be in BIG trouble, understand?

* * *

><p><strong>Zoe Shannon: <strong>There's an ankylosaurus wandering near the gate. I wonder if it's Boxer!

_Maddy Shannon, Jim Shannon, and two others like this._

**Malcolm Wallace: **Zoe, the statistical probability of that single dinosaur you hatched ever finding its way back to Terra Nova are nearly one in two million.

**Zoe Shannon: **What does that mean?

**Jim Shannon: **Thanks for killing dreams, Malcomius.

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds <strong>to **Maddy Shannon: **There's a meteor shower tonight. Would you like to join me in viewing it?

_Maddy Shannon likes this._

**Maddy Shannon: **Of course I would!

**Jim Shannon: **After whatever happened last night, I believe a chaperone may be needed.

**Maddy Shannon: ***facepalm*

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>checked in to Terra Nova Orchards with **Mark Reynolds**.

_Mark Reynolds likes this._

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon <strong>checked in to Terra Nova Orchards.

**Maddy Shannon: **Dad…go away.

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor <strong>to **Phoenix Group: **We lookin' for you. We gon' find you! Run and tell that!

_Alicia Washington, Mark Reynolds, and two others like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon: <strong>Ideas on how to scare off pterosaurs without pissing them off? They're interrupting me and Elisabeth's…private time…

_Elisabeth Shannon likes this._

**Malcolm Wallace: **Sorry Jim, but the pterosaur just don't care.

**Josh Shannon: **Dad. I am very disturbed.

**Maddy Shannon: **I agree. Keep that kind of stuff to yourselves!

**Zoe Shannon: **What does that mean?

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Go back to bed, Zoe.

* * *

><p><strong>Hunter Boyce: <strong>Iii haddd th emosst exceelllelnt night wiiith all of yooooouuuu and it wwass a a grreatt paarrrttyy and going bed nowgood ni g h t!

_Max Pope, Tasha Guzman, and two others like this._

**Max Pope: **Damn! How much did you drink at that party?

**Tasha Guzman: **Evidently too much.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **He's going to be hung over tomorrow…

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>has sent **Alicia Washington **a Farmville gift request! Howdy neighbor! Could you help me out by sending me some tomato seeds for my farm? I'd gladly return the favor!

**Alicia Washington: **You're joking, right?

**Lucas Taylor: **Look, I hate you just as much as you hate me but I REALLY need those seeds. I want to level up already!

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Couldn't resist that last one! Or the honey badger reference. Or the Antoine Dodson reference. Anyway, I love that you guys are quoting these things to me in the reviews, I really do! And the reviews that spill in each day keep me going, so keep them coming! Like I said, there's at least one more chapter guaranteed but after that, it's all up in the air. So make sure you review. And check out my other stories too, because I need reviews on them as well. Thanks guys! **


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: How could I not? I love you all too much. Thanks for the amazing reviews that continue to pour in. It never ceases to amaze me. For those who care, I'm getting ready to push out updates on a few other stories too. PLEASE visit some other stories I've written and leave a review, I seriously want to get more people reading my stuff. Anyway, depending on how reader response goes, I may write more chapters for this story so don't stop the reviews now! Keep 'em coming!**

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>to **Maddy Shannon**: Damn! I just saw your profile picture and you are SMOKING hot! And since **Skye "Bucket" Tate **has rejected me, I was wondering: are you legal…?

**Maddy Shannon: **Whoa! What? You're SO not my type. And I have a boyfriend!

**Lucas Taylor: **I'm okay with that…

**Mark Reynolds: **I'm not!

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Maddy, I can handle this if you want. I've shot him before.

**Lucas Taylor: **Twice, actually!

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Keep going. Let's make it three times.

**Jim Shannon: **Maddy, I take back everything I've ever said about Mark. He's a fine young man.

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds <strong>to **Lucas Taylor: **If you EVER say something like that to Maddy again I WILL mess you up.

_Maddy Shannon and Jim Shannon like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Zoe Shannon <strong>to **Elisabeth Shannon: **Mommy, I have an earache.

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Zoe, you have to stay in school right now—I'm about to perform a heart transplant.

* * *

><p><strong>Hunter Boyce: <strong>If anyone knows exactly what the hell I did last night, could you please message me? It's all a blur…

_Tasha Guzman, Skye "Bucket" Tate, and two others like this._

**Max Pope: **Dude, you were drunk off your ass!

**Tasha Guzman: **I found you with your head on the toilet seat this morning.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **You're lucky—I found him first. And I had to flush his puke down the toilet…

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>has reached level ten in Farmville!

**Alicia Washington: **Don't you ever say I didn't do anything for you…

* * *

><p><strong>Dunham: <strong>Just squashed a bug the size of my HEAD! Nasty…

_Alicia Washington, Mark Reynolds, and three others like this._

**Reilly: **That must be one abnormally small bug…

**Mark Reynolds: **Hahahahahaha. She beat me to it!

**Dunham: **Everyone's a comedian…

* * *

><p><strong>Tommy Boylan: <strong>Anyone who lost a belt and a pair of pants in my bar, please come claim them. Seriously. It isn't cute.

**Hunter Boyce: **Those may be mine…

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>New rover! Pics soon!

_Jim Shannon, Elisabeth Shannon, and five others like this._

**Jim Shannon: **Sure hope that vandal doesn't read this…

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>Seriously, people? I know it had to be someone on my friend's list! Who spray painted my bloody rover?

_Jim Shannon, Alicia Washington, and four others like this._

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Sheriff…

**Jim Shannon: **I'm already working on it.

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds<strong>, **Alicia Washington**, and three others are attending the event "Terra Nova Security Forces Training Day."

_Mark Reynolds, Nathaniel Taylor, and four others like this._

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Just so you know, lunch is NOT provided, so bring your own!

**Dunham: **That's it. I'm out.

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Mark Reynolds: **Just finished that military strategy book you gave me. All nine hundred and forty eight pages!

_Mark Reynolds likes this._

**Mark Reynolds: **You know you were only supposed to skim that, right?

**Maddy Shannon: **But it was a good read. I couldn't put it down.

* * *

><p><strong>Alicia Washington: <strong>I hate it when my sonic blaster doesn't work properly! #futuregirlproblems.

_Maddy Shannon, Skye "Bucket" Tate, and four others like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Mark Reynolds: **I've got another confession to make…

_Mark Reynolds likes this._

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds <strong>to **Maddy Shannon: **I'm your fool…

_Maddy Shannon likes this._

**Dunham: **Ugh, you're BOTH fools…

**Maddy Shannon: **They're SONG lyrics…

**Dunham: **So what, are we on Glee now? Wrong FOX television show!

**Josh Shannon: **Seriously, why is everyone breaking fourth wall?

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor <strong>to **Mira: **It's your turn to wear the cuffs…

**Mira: **Oh save it for **Alicia Washington**!

**Alicia Washington: **I feel like I may be missing something here…

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Don't worry about it...

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds: <strong>Maddy's making me do this. Like for a like…

_Dunham, Maddy Shannon, and two others like this. _

**Maddy Shannon: **Oh come on! It isn't that hard!

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds <strong>to **Dunham: **Like: very little about you :P

_Dunham likes this._

**Dunham: **I get it. No one appreciates me anymore…

**Reilly: **Get used to it! You're a minor character.

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds <strong>to **Jim Shannon: **Like: how you haven't killed me for dating Maddy yet…

_Jim Shannon likes this._

**Jim Shannon: **One more incident of me "just passing through" and that could change…

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds <strong>to **Nathaniel Taylor: **Like: how you're my commanding officer, sir. And therefore I'm not allowed to say much else...

_Nathaniel Taylor likes this._

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds <strong>to **Maddy Shannon: **Like: well, more appropriately love: your smile, your eyes, your hair, your intelligence, your laughter, your effortless beauty…shall I continue?

_Maddy Shannon likes this._

**Maddy Shannon: **Please do! :)

**Dunham: **Yuck! Just get a room, you two!

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace <strong>and **Alicia Washington **are playing "Words with Friends."

**Alicia Washington: **I find it ironic how Malcolm plays this game despite having NO friends…

**Malcolm Wallace: **Honestly, could you just let me go a few minutes without making me cry?

* * *

><p><strong>Tim Curran: <strong>Random idea: what if we recreated Las Vegas right here in Terra Nova?

_Dunham, Alicia Washington, and four others like this._

**Dunham: **Vegas, baby!

**Alicia Washington: **Because we so clearly need MORE gambling establishments…

**Dunham: **And next we could turn Boylan's Bar into a gentleman's lounge :D

**Tommy Boylan: **I actually kind of like that idea…

**Reilly: **Pigs.

* * *

><p><strong>Elisabeth Shannon <strong>to **Jim Shannon**, **Josh Shannon**, **Maddy Shannon**, and **Zoe Shannon: **I want everyone home early tonight. It's family game night! **Mark Reynolds **and **Skye "Bucket" Tate **are more than welcome to come, too!

_Jim Shannon, Josh Shannon, and two others like this._

**Josh Shannon: **What game are we playing?

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Hmmm…maybe Operation?

**Zoe Shannon: **No fair, Mommy! You always win at that game!

**Maddy Shannon: **Well we can't play the Game of Life—Josh loses at that already :P

**Josh Shannon: **Har de har har…

**Elisabeth Shannon: **That's enough, you two.

**Jim Shannon: **It's settled. Monopoly.

* * *

><p><strong>Skye "Bucket" Tate: <strong>Just destroyed the Shannon family and **Mark Reynolds** in Monopoly :D

_Mark Reynolds, Elisabeth Shannon, and three others like this._

**Josh Shannon: **But only because you got Boardwalk and Park Place…

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Awwww…is somebody a little sore? :P

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Haha. There you go! Hope you liked it. Like I said, if response is good then I will DEFINITELY continue this. And, as I also said before, I can be persuaded to push out more updates faster with more reviews on my other stories (hint, hint). Thanks for reading, and drop a review on your way out! **


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Okay, so I guess I'll continue this story because you guys are apparently LOVING this! Which means I'm loving it too! Thanks for all the reviews because they're like fuel for me! Keep 'em coming, guys!**

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor <strong>is in a relationship with **Alicia Washington**.

**Jim Shannon: **WHAT? I mean, we all saw it coming but still…WHAT?

**Nathaniel Taylor: **I swear this…this isn't…I don't even know what to…

**Alicia Washington: **What the hell is going on here? What do you mean you all saw this coming? Shannon?

**Jim Shannon: **Nothing…you're very subtle…

**Maddy Shannon: **Josh…

**Josh Shannon: **Okay, I swear it wasn't me this time!

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Then who was it? I'd LOVE to wring their neck right about now…

**Mira: **Okay fine, so it was me. But come ON! The tension between you two is so obvious. Besides, don't you read fan fiction? Readers LOVE you two when you're…together…

**Josh Shannon: **I swear, if someone breaks fourth wall one more time I may just go on a homicidal rampage…

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon: <strong>I'm depressed—my perfume ran out today :(

**Mark Reynolds: **You don't need perfume to smell any sweeter…

**Dunham: **Yeesh, get a load of this guy…

**Jim Shannon: **You seem to prefer 'essence of stink leaves' better anyway.

**Maddy Shannon: **Wait…how'd you know about that?

**Jim Shannon: **I'm your dad. I know everything. Garbage disposal my foot…

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor: <strong>NOOOOOO! Farmville servers are down for an update! What do I do now?

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Here's a hint: shave, bathe, get some SUNLIGHT, and stop fantasizing over every girl in Terra Nova…

**Lucas Taylor: **I don't fantasize over EVERY girl. I wouldn't hit on **Zoe Shannon**, for example. That's just wrong…

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **And yet, somewhere in your warped, twisted mind, you just got a really sick idea…

**Zoe Shannon: **O.o Daddy says never to talk to strange people…

* * *

><p><strong>Alicia Washington <strong>to **Mira: **I took your suggestion and read some fan fiction stories. First of all, what do you people think I DO on the weekends? Second of all, what's a BAMF?

**Josh Shannon: **That's it. Someone's going to die.

* * *

><p><strong>Zoe Shannon: <strong>Baking apple pies with **Maddy Shannon**!

_Maddy Shannon, Elisabeth Shannon, and three others like this. _

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Don't eat too much, you'll spoil your appetite.

**Andrew Fickett (Ken Horton): **May I join in?

**Maddy Shannon: **Creep…does my dad know you're on the internet?

**Jim Shannon: **I do now.

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>I've narrowed down the list of possible rover vandals to a few people. Last chance to come clean.

_Alicia Washington, Jim Shannon, and three others like this._

**Jim Shannon: **Last time I checked, I was the sheriff around here…

**Malcolm Wallace: **But you've proven yourself absolutely USELESS, so I took matters into my own hands…

**Nathaniel Taylor: **We don't allow for vigilantes in Terra Nova, Malcolm. I'd be careful.

**Malcolm Wallace: **Flipping brilliant. Even when I'm solving crimes, I'm somehow getting into trouble. I get the sense you people don't like me much.

**Alicia Washington: **What could possibly give you that impression?

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds: <strong>Ugh, convoy assignment OTG…

_Dunham, Alicia Washington, and six others like this._

**Dunham: **I feel your pain, bro.

**Maddy Shannon: **You're leaving again? :(

**Mark Reynolds: **I'll be back soon.

**Mira: **Would you like to make this easier on yourself and just tell me where you'll be headed? I'll have my guys meet you there.

**Mark Reynolds: **What fun would that be? I've heard that puzzles help keep elderly brains sharp.

**Mira: **I'll make sure to give you an extra hard punch in the face for that one…

**Maddy Shannon: **Oh hell no, bitch! Throw down, right now! Take your earrings off! You ain't laying a FINGER on MY MAN!

**Mira: **Teenagers…

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor <strong>to **Ancestral Komodo Dragon: **COWARD!

_Tim Curran likes this._

* * *

><p><strong>Alicia Washington: <strong>Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched?

_Skye "Bucket" Tate likes this._

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **By **Lucas Taylor**? Every second of every day…

**Alicia Washington: **No. I feel like there's…a whole bunch of people that I don't know reading all my statuses…

**Josh Shannon: **I'm telling you, I'm this close—THIS CLOSE—to finding a large knife and raging through the colony. STOP BREAKING THE DAMNED FOURTH WALL!

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Josh, are you alright? Do you need to sit down for a little while?

**Maddy Shannon: **She didn't break fourth wall this time, ok? Don't get your panties in a wad…

**Josh Shannon: **Fine. She ALLUDED to it, alright? Stop ALLUDING to the fourth wall.

**Maddy Shannon: **But…you just alluded to the fourth wall too…

**Josh Shannon: **You're real funny, Maddy. You'll be the first to die…

**Maddy Shannon: **Once again: superior intellect :D

* * *

><p><strong>Nina: <strong>Once, there was a boy who saw this status. He didn't repost it in time, so a vampire came and drank all of his blood and he died. Now that you've read this, there's no escape. Repost this as your status or the vampire will get you too!

_Zoe Shannon likes this._

**Zoe Shannon: **Oh no! It won't let me repost it! Am I still going to die?

**Nina: **Sorry Zoe. It was nice knowing you…

**Maddy Shannon: **Oh will you two just stop it? People have been doing things like this for over a century to try and scare others! There is NO SUCH THING as vampires!

**Nina: **That'll do you a lot of good when they find you dead and bloodless tomorrow morning…

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace <strong>just bought a brand spanking new Rover in CarTown! He got some cash back on the deal and would like to share with you! Click the link to claim your reward!

**Jim Shannon: **Somehow, the vandal's going to find a way to ruin your virtual rover too, right?

**Malcolm Wallace: **Why would you even say such a thing? Are you purposely trying to give them ideas?

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace <strong>changed his "Interested in…" to Interested in Dinosaurs.

_Jim Shannon, Alicia Washington, and twelve others like this._

**Jim Shannon: **So you finally figured out that you didn't stand a chance with an actual woman, huh?

**Malcolm Wallace: **Who gained access to my account? I didn't write that!

**Alicia Washington: **Whoever it was deserves some sort of medal!

**Maddy Shannon: **Dare I say it? Josh…

**Josh Shannon: **Look, I honestly wish I could take credit for this, but I can't. We're dealing with an evil genius here…

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>My account was hacked AND my virtual CarTown rover was also vandalized. WHY DO YOU PEOPLE ENJOY MAKING ME CRY?

_Jim Shannon and Alicia Washington like this._

**Alicia Washington: **Entertainment value.

**Jim Shannon: **Personal satisfaction.

**Malcolm Wallace: **This is about **Elisabeth Shannon **isn't it, Jim?

**Elisabeth Shannon: **I've been keeping out of this whole mess, don't go dragging me into it now!

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon <strong>shared a link with **Malcolm Wallace: **"Fergie Music Video: Big Girls Don't Cry."

**Malcolm Wallace: **So that's how you want to play…

* * *

><p><strong>AN: There you go. Sorry I haven't been active lately—I've been studying for midterms. But I this was sitting on my computer for a few days so I decided to log in quickly and post it. More updates will come at the end of this week, when my exams end. And yes, I decided to write in more explicit Wash/Taylor stuff—ask and you shall receive. Hope you liked the update. Response was just so awesome that I decided to continue. And I will continue to continue, so long as I keep getting reviews! You know what to do…**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I'VE GOT ANOTHER UPDATE! I've discontinued/put a bunch of stories on hiatus in order to focus more on those stories which readers are responding positively to, which means my updates will be more frequent AND you'll actually care about them more! This is by far my most popular story to date. Thanks to all of my AMAZING readers out there (especially the ones who leave a review afterwards…) This is for you (obviously)…**

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon: <strong>YES! They're starting a Terra Nova Idol! Beyond excited…

_Josh Shannon, Mark Reynolds, and eight others like this…_

**Jim Shannon: **Who's judging?

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: Nathaniel Taylor **for sure.

**Nathaniel Taylor: **I'm what now…?

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **You're the new Simon! **Alicia Washington **can be Paula…

**Alicia Washington: **I don't do talent competitions…

**Josh Shannon: **I'll be Randy…dawg…

**Jim Shannon: **And we all know **Malcolm Wallace **would like to be Ellen!

**Malcolm Wallace: **Seriously, you aren't done berating me yet?

**Maddy Shannon: **Okay, so I'd like to THANK YOU ALL for BLOWING UP MY STATUS!

**Josh Shannon: **You're welcome :)

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>Certain people should not be allowed to hold positions of authority in this colony. Or social network. YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING TO!

_Jim Shannon likes this._

**Jim Shannon: **Who's that, Malcomus?

**Malcolm Wallace: **YOU! It's YOU!

**Jim Shannon: **I got it. I'm not stupid. It was sarcasm…

* * *

><p><strong>Elisabeth Shannon: Jim Shannon <strong>and **Malcolm Wallace **argue like little girls -_-

_Nathaniel Taylor and Alicia Washington like this._

**Jim Shannon: **HE STARTED IT!

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>to **Nathaniel Taylor: **Hey Dad! Listen, can I ask you something…?

**Nathaniel Taylor: **If you need more money, I'm NOT sending it to you. I've already written you out of my will. I'm leaving all my possessions to my pet dinosaur.

**Lucas Taylor: **Do you even have a pet dinosaur…?

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Why don't you come pay a visit and find out?

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Mark Reynolds: **Oh my gosh! You should totally audition for Terra Nova Idol you'd win FOR SURE!

_Mark Reynolds likes this._

**Mark Reynolds: **Maddy, you know I can't sing.

**Maddy Shannon: **Don't be ridiculous! I've heard you sing, you're amazing. I'd be your screaming fangirl groupie!

**Mark Reynolds: **Not happening. I'm a soldier, not a musician.

**Maddy Shannon: **You're just being modest. Besides, we all know you came in third on Australian Idol…

**Josh Shannon: **Just. Ignore. Them. Ignore them recklessly breaking fourth wall.. Just ignore it. See? I'm ignoring it. It doesn't bother me, I'm just letting it slide. Just letting it slide…

**Maddy Shannon: **If you audition, I'll get a tattoo of you!

**Mark Reynolds: **Where? O_o

**Maddy Shannon: **Guess ;)

**Jim Shannon: **Uh…NO! YOU ARE NOT TATTOOING ANY PART OF YOURSELF YOUNG LADY, UNDERSTAND ME?

* * *

><p><strong>Alicia Washington <strong>to **Nathaniel Taylor: **You should read some of these fan fiction stories **Mira **showed me. It's so wrong, but I can't stop!

_Mira likes this._

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Wash…are you trying to tell me something?

**Mira: **OMG! It's actually happening! I totally need popcorn…I mean…boo. Terra Nova. I'm going to burn you all. Or something…

**Josh Shannon: **O.e Breaking. Fourth. Wall. Must. Ignore...

* * *

><p><strong>Zoe Shannon: <strong>Daddy, your spider song didn't work. I found a spider under my bed and so I sang the song but it didn't run away!

_Jim Shannon likes this._

**Jim Shannon: **Sorry, Zoe. You should sing the song BEFORE any of the spiders get there. It only works in keeping them away, not scaring them off once they're already there.

* * *

><p><strong>Elisabeth Shannon <strong>to **Jim Shannon: **What have you done? Thanks to you, our daughter is running around the house singing "Go away spiders, go, go, go" and she WILL NOT STOP!

_Jim Shannon likes this._

**Jim Shannon: **Hey, if it wasn't for that song I'd still be locked in the Eye with her. Sorry for being creative and thinking on my feet.

**Zoe Shannon: **You mean…you only taught me that song so I'd be able to get us out of there? EVERYTHING I KNOW IS WRONG!

**Malcolm Wallace: **Ha! Hilarious—Jim thinking?

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Last I checked, I was talking to my husband and, despite your sincerest wishes, Malcolm, you are NOT my husband.

**Jim Shannon: **PWNED!

* * *

><p><strong>Skye "Bucket" Tate <strong>to **Tasha Guzman** and **Maddy Shannon: **Slumber party, ladies? We need to have some girl time.

_Tasha Guzman and Maddy Shannon like this. _

**Lucas Taylor: **My favorite time of day…

**Tasha Guzman: **Who's the creep?

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **My "brother" -_-

**Maddy Shannon: **I feel your pain…I have a creepy brother too :P

**Josh Shannon: **I need a "dislike" button.

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon: <strong>Okay, so everyone needs to vote for my boyfriend **Mark Reynolds** tonight on Terra Nova Idol!

_Mark Reynolds, Skye "Bucket" Tate, and four others like this._

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **If I didn't know any better, I'd say you're a little excited…

**Maddy Shannon: **BEYOND excited! :D

**Mark Reynolds: **There's no guarantee I'll make it, Maddy...

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds: <strong>I MADE IT THROUGH! I'm going to the next round of Terra Nova Idol!

_Maddy Shannon, Dunham, and nine others like this._

**Maddy Shannon: **I'm so proud of you :D

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Your performance was horrendous. Awful. I hated it.

**Simon Cowell: **That's my line.

**Alicia Washington: **Oh shut up, both of you. It was amazing! I loved it! Why do I have the sudden urge to scream and say something random?

**Josh Shannon: **Yo dawg, listen. That was like, cool dawg, and I dig it. So you got my vote. Dawg.

**Malcolm Wallace: **Why is everyone doing bad parodies all of a sudden? And what's with Simon Cowell…? What's going on here?

**Josh Shannon: **They're all breaking fourth wall. You get used to it.

**Malcolm Wallace: **My head hurts…

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor <strong>listed **Lucas Taylor **as his son.

**Lucas Taylor: **You already tried doing that. I rejected your family request before. Why would I accept it now?

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Luke…I am your father.

**Lucas Taylor: **Why do I get the feeling you've been waiting for an excuse to use that one? -_-

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>Okay, whoever sprayed "MALCOLM WALLACE IS A PANSY" on my rover is going to get it. I have a feeling I know who did it, too. **Jim Shannon**.

_Alicia Washington likes this._

**Jim Shannon: **Look, as much as I'd LOVE to admit I did it, I can't. Because I didn't. I was too busy counseling an emotionally-traumatized Zoe on how spiders don't have ears and therefore can't hear her singing, all in an effort to preserve the sanity of my wife.

**Alicia Washington: **Well whoever did it isn't wrong about the pansy thing.

**Malcolm Wallace: **Why does everyone gang up on ME? I'm the victim here!

**Alicia Washington: **And you're awful whiny about it too.

**Malcolm Wallace: **When I get my hands on that vandal, I swear…

**Alicia Washington: **What will you do? Throw plant specimens at him?

**Malcolm Wallace: **No one respects my work anymore…

**Alicia Washington: **Make no mistake—no one respected your work to begin with.

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon <strong>to **Elisabeth Shannon: **Could you check **Malcolm Wallace**'s rover for fingerprints. I'd like to get to the bottom of this so he doesn't continue his insufferable whining.

_Elisabeth Shannon likes this._

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Jim, I'm a doctor, not a forensic analyst.

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace <strong>shared a link with **Jim Shannon: **"Ce-Lo Green music video: F*** You"

**Malcolm Wallace: **Payback for the Fergie reference.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay, so I decided to write ANOTHER one of these instead of studying for my chemistry and Spanish exams. So sue me. Actually, don't. I've got chemistry and Spanish exams to study for…Hope you liked this chapter—it was a lot crackier than usual, and I really hope you'll review because you've made this my most-reviewed story, which makes me very happy. Thank you and good night!**

**PS: Does anyone know why the doc upload feature won't let me upload new docs? I've cleared out my old ones so there's plenty of space...Any help would be appreciated. I replaced an older file that was already saved onto this site and copy/pasted the new text...  
><strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Oh my goodness! 100 reviews! I'm so happy—this is HUGE for me! This is the first story I've ever written that's reached 100 reviews! It's getting harder to write material for this fic so please message me/leave a review with some more general ideas on what you'd like to see. So far, I'm getting that you guys want more Skye/Lucas, more Taylor/Wash, and you all seem to like the vandal mystery and BAMF fangirl Mira. But I need more ideas, so don't hesitate to give me some! And please keep the reviews coming!**

* * *

><p><strong>Tommy Boylan: <strong>Free rounds to everyone tonight! LOLJK I'm a barkeep, not a charity.

**Dunham: **Dammit Boylan! You had me all excited for nothing!

**Jim Shannon: **You, sir, are despicable.

**Josh Shannon: **Hahahahahahaha! You guys don't know my boss very well…

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>I think I'm just about ready to make an accusation…

_Jim Shannon, Alicia Washington, and two others like this. _

**Jim Shannon: **Was it Ms. Scarlet in the billiard room with the revolver?

**Malcolm Wallace: **What are you on about?

**Jim Shannon: **You've never played Clue?

**Malcolm Wallace: **I was talking about the rover…

**Jim Shannon: **Thank you, Dr. Obvious…

**Alicia Washington: **So…you gonna put us out of our misery already?

**Malcolm Wallace: **I think it was **Jim Shannon**.

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon: <strong>Perhaps some people should get their facts straight before randomly accusing others of criminal activity. I think it's obvious who I'm referring to…

_Alicia Washington likes this._

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Alright, alright. Enough you two!

**Alicia Washington: **No. Please continue—this is getting good!

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>Someone just bashed the windshield of my rover in! Who did this?

**Jim Shannon: **Couldn't have been me—I've been in a meeting with **Nathaniel Taylor **all afternoon.

**Nathaniel Taylor: **I can confirm Sheriff Shannon's alibi.

**Alicia Washington: **The plot thickens…

**Malcolm Wallace: **He could have had accomplices! He's got two teenaged children!

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon <strong>to **Malcolm Wallace: **How dare you accuse my children of being vandals? If you ever, and I mean EVER imply they would do something like that again, I can promise you that you'll need to have me arrested for assault, battery, and maybe homicide!

_Elisabeth Shannon likes this._

**Malcolm Wallace: **This isn't over. I will find out who did this to my rover. IT SHALL BE AVENGED!

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>to **Mira: **So I'm looking through your profile and what do I find? A link to your fan fiction stories. The stuff you've written is absolutely DISGUSTING! Why would you write this stuff about my dad?

_Mira likes this._

**Mira: **No one asked you to read them. I think they're hot.

**Lucas Taylor: **I think it's filthy. No one wants to imagine their dad doing…those things...

**Mira: **Meanwhile, if someone decides to write something about you and **Skye "Bucket" Tate**, you'll spend all afternoon locked in your room reading it over and over and over…

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **They write stuff about me and HIM? Oh crap…

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds: <strong>Just got ambushed by Sixers OTG…what an awesome day -_-

_Mira likes this._

**Mira: **Told ya so.

**Maddy Shannon: **Oh my God! Are you okay? Are you hurt? Bleeding? Concussion? Trauma? Hemorrhaging?

**Mark Reynolds: **Maddy, it isn't nearly as bad as you're imagining it to be…

**Maddy Shannon: **Oh. So I guess you won't be needing a kiss to make it feel better then? :P

**Mark Reynolds: **I'll always need a kiss to make it feel better ;)

**Mira: ***rolls eyes*

* * *

><p><strong>Mira<strong> to **All Sixers: **Send the dinosaur to Terra Nova! Ram it down Taylor's throat!

_Carter, Lucas Taylor, and two others like this. _

**Lucas Taylor: **Having read your fan fiction, I'm going to fix that statement: you would like **Nathaniel Taylor** to ram HIS dinosaur down **Alicia Washington**'s throat.

**Alicia Washington: **Oh hell…I'm contemplating murder as a viable solution to this problem.

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Wash, I firmly support your decision.

**Lucas Taylor: **LOL, "firmly support."

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds <strong>to **Maddy Shannon: **I don't want another pretty face, I don't want just anyone to hold. I don't want my love to go to waste, I want you and your beautiful soul…

_Maddy Shannon likes this._

**Maddy Shannon: **SQUEE! OMG, OMG, OMG!

**Josh Shannon: **Don't hyperventilate now…

**Dunham: **Geez, you win one talent competition and suddenly you're some sort of superstar singer or something?

* * *

><p><strong>Skye "Bucket" Tate <strong>listed **Hunter Boyce **as her brother.

**Hunter Boyce: **Really? Why?

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Because you are like a brother to me. And I pulled a parasite from your abdomen while you attempted to hit on me…

**Hunter Boyce: **It was as good a time as any…

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **And you see how well it worked out for you?

* * *

><p><strong>Andrew Fickett (Ken Horton): <strong>If anyone finds a missing spider the size of your face, please do NOT panic. Just calmly catch it in a jar and bring it to the brig…

**Jim Shannon: **You lost the spider?

**Andrew Fickett (Ken Horton): **What ever gave you that idea? Why? Did it turn up?

**Jim Shannon: **No, but if it does I'll be sure to leave it in your pillowcase for you.

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds, Maddy Shannon, <strong>and fourteen others are attending the event: "Terra Nova Harvest Festival."

_Nathaniel Taylor, Zoe Shannon, and twelve others like this. _

**Zoe Shannon: **I would like to wear the beard again this year!

**Mark Reynolds: **I don't know, Zoe…remember last time? I kept reporting to you for orders instead of the real Commander.

**Jim Shannon: **I'm just looking forward to not being arrested this year.

**Malcolm Wallace: **You might very well be, if I can find some proof that you're the one who's been destroying my rover.

**Jim Shannon: **Good luck with that. Let me know how it works out…

* * *

><p><strong>Mira <strong>to **Nathaniel Taylor: **Nice beard, Taylor. What's it made of?

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Your mom's chest hair!

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon<strong>, **Nathaniel Taylor**, and fourteen others checked into "Terra Nova Square" for "Terra Nova Harvest Festival."

_Maddy Shannon, Hunter Boyce, and twelve others like this._

**Josh Shannon: **That dance is really, REALLY awkward -_-

**Maddy Shannon: **Oh stop being a wuss—everyone's doing it!

**Josh Shannon: **Doesn't change the ridiculousness of it…

**Zoe Shannon: **I still want that beard back…

**Mira: **Alright, so while all of you have your little festivities I'LL be plotting how to pillage your precious colony for all it's worth!

**Lucas Taylor: **She's lying—she's actually writing another one of those disgusting Taylor/Wash fan fiction stories…

**Maddy Shannon: **I'm really surprised Josh hasn't wet himself over all the fourth-wall breaking…

**Josh Shannon: **I've reached stage three of Fourth Wall Phobia: acceptance.

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon <strong>checked into "Terra Nova Brig."

_Malcolm Wallace likes this._

**Elisabeth Shannon: **What the…? Again?

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon: <strong>Arrested for no reason AGAIN -_- This is getting a bit absurd. I JUST WANT TO ENJOY ONE HARVEST FESTIVAL IN PEACE! What am I being accused of now?

_Malcolm Wallace likes this._

**Andrew Fickett (Ken Horton): **Want to be cellmates? I'll let you take the top bunk!

**Jim Shannon: **Not on your life, Spiderman.

**Malcolm Wallace: **Now you'll answer for your crimes against humanity!

**Jim Shannon: **Does this have something to do with your rover?

**Malcolm Wallace: **Maybe…

**Nathaniel Taylor: **I'm releasing you, Jim. The evidence Malcolm found wasn't strong enough to convict you.

**Malcolm Wallace: **WHAT? OH COME ON!

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>Certain people should really be less biased when it comes to handing down judgment. I'm not naming names…

**Nathaniel Taylor: **In that case, some people should also be less whiny about things, lest they end up OTG without a weapon and coated in gravy…

**Malcolm Wallace: **I didn't mention any names…

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Neither did I…

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry for the relatively short chapter. Like I said, it gets harder and harder to write fresh material for this story, which is why I'm reaching out to all of you readers for assistance. Tell me what YOU want to see put into this story and I'll try to make it happen! Thanks SO much for getting me to 100 reviews! If I could, I'd throw ALL of you a huge party! But please don't let that stop you: continue the reviewing, please! I need new ideas and material, and now's your chance to have your say! PS: Yes, there was a Mean Girls reference in this chapter :P  
><strong>


	8. Chapter 8

**IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: Sorry to say it guys, but I think I'm reaching the end of this story :( It's been a great run and I really love each and every one of you, so if you want any more chapters I'm really going to need more ideas. Each time I sit down to do a chapter of this it becomes increasingly difficult to write fresh material. I got some good suggestions from readers already, and there were two that stuck out in particular: the lovely Inkblood suggested Jim misinterpret one of Maddy's statuses and metube suggested a big party at the Shannons, followed by an inability to recall what went down. Flimmer also liked this idea. And I liked them too, which is why I'm using them! If you have/had an idea that I didn't use, don't give up! Tell me again and I might use it later on down the line. But I need tons of new ideas so the only way more chapters are going up is if I can get some suggestions. You all love the story, now's your chance to contribute! That being said, onward with the chapter! Oh and PS: to my reviewer washisaboss—Josh is and forever shall be a gangsta :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Mark Reynolds: **You know, you were right—stretching out beforehand really helps out a lot!

_Mark Reynolds likes this._

**Mark Reynolds: **I told you! It really heightens the intensity of it, too!

**Maddy Shannon: **And your idea of trying different positions was great! Although my butt's a little sore now :(

**Mark Reynolds: **You'll get used to it.

**Jim Shannon: **Okay, whoa! What the HELL is going on here? Maddy, tell me exactly what this is all about or so help me I will STRANGLE **Mark Reynolds**.

**Maddy Shannon: **Geez, relax Dad. No need to overreact. Mark's been helping me work out and get into shape. We did different stretching techniques yesterday. What did you think we were talking about?

**Mark Reynolds: **I think he thinks we were…

**Maddy Shannon: **Oh…I get it now.

**Jim Shannon: **I almost had a heart attack. Please don't do that to me again…

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Jim Shannon: **Hi Dad! Just thought you should know that **Mark Reynolds **just got me pregnant :) Have a nice day!

_Josh Shannon likes this._

**Maddy Shannon: **Josh, what did you do?

**Josh Shannon: **Who says I did anything?

**Maddy Shannon: **You liked this post. Nice job covering your tracks.

**Jim Shannon: **Josh, that isn't funny.

**Josh Shannon: **Maybe you should try seeing things from my point of view then. Consider it payback for all the fourth-wall breaking that's been going on around here.

**Maddy Shannon: **I thought you got over that.

**Josh Shannon: **I reached stage three, acceptance, earlier. Now I've moved on to stage four: REVENGE!

* * *

><p><strong>Josh Shannon <strong>to **Elisabeth Shannon: **Hey Mom, would it be okay to invite some friends over?

_Elisabeth Shannon likes this._

**Jim Shannon: **Say no! Say no! Say no!

**Elisabeth Shannon: **That sounds great, Josh. Of course it's okay!

**Jim Shannon: **Hey! You're supposed to agree with me!

**Josh Shannon: **Thanks, Mom! You're the best!

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor<strong>, **Skye "Bucket" Tate**, and fourteen others are attending the event "Party at the Shannon House—All are Welcome!"

_Max Pope, Mark Reynolds, and fourteen others like this. _

**Jim Shannon: **Uh, Josh? I thought you said a FEW friends!

**Alicia Washington: **Oh lighten up, Shannon. It's been forever since we've had any sort of party here. So nice of you to offer up your place!

**Jim Shannon: **Sorry to disappoint, Wash, but I'm just not sure if we can accommodate all these people…

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Sheriff, in light of your contribution to the morale of this colony, I am offering you a bonus check.

**Jim Shannon: **Never mind. Party away.

**Malcolm Wallace: **Thanks for inviting me, guys :( That was sarcasm.

**Mira: **Don't feel bad. Not everyone got invited.

**Malcolm Wallace: **WAIT! You invited HER but not ME? She HATES us. She wants us DEAD!

**Alicia Washington: **And yet, she's still WAY better company then you are, Malcolm.

**Jim Shannon: **Alright, alright. Malcolm can come.

**Malcolm Wallace: **Yay! :)

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace <strong>is attending the event "Party at the Shannon House—All are Welcome!"

* * *

><p><strong>Zoe Shannon: <strong>Oh boy! A party!

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Sorry kiddo, but you need to go to bed.

**Zoe Shannon: **Figures. I NEVER get to do anything the big kids are doing.

**Josh Shannon: **Go away Zoe, go, go, go. We don't like you no, no, no!

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Josh, be nice to your sister!

* * *

><p><strong>Alicia Washington: <strong>The party don't start 'til I walk in…

_Mark Reynolds, Tim Curran, and eight others like this._

**Tim Curran: **Kesha? Setting the mood for how you're going to act tonight, Lieutenant?

**Alicia Washington: **;)

* * *

><p><strong>Dunham<strong>, **Max Pope**, and fifteen others checked in to "Shannon House."

* * *

><p><strong>Maddox Shannon: <strong>You know it was a rough night when you wake up and find your parents sleeping on top of each other, your brother's head in the sink, and your shirtless boyfriend passed out on the couch among many other party guests.

_Mary Reynolds, Lizzy Shannon, and six others like this._

**Mary Reynolds: **You know it was a rougher night when your name was inexplicably changed to Mary. Or Maddox. What the hell happened last night?

**Lizzy Shannon: **Come to think of it, I don't recall changing my name either…

**Dr. Incrediblastic: **This isn't funny -_-

**Jim Shannon: **Hahahahahaha. Yes it is, Malcolm.

**Dr. Incrediblastic: **Seriously, I'm too hung over to think. HOW DO I CHANGE IT BACK?

**Hunter Boyce: **Crap, man! Why are you shouting! My head hurts!

* * *

><p><strong>Mira <strong>to **Superman Taylor **and **Alicia Washington: **How much will you pay me to find out exactly what you two did last night ;)

**Superman Taylor: **I'm still trying to figure out why I changed my name to Superman. We'll get to what I did last night in a minute.

**Alicia Washington: **All I know is, I've got hickies and bruises in mysterious places. I'd love to know what went down…

**Mira: **Waiting for payment.

**Superman Taylor: **We will not bend to extortion!

**Mira: **I'm sorry, I can't take you seriously with that name.

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Fine. I changed it back. Now what did I do with Wash last night?

**Mira: **Wouldn't you like to know ;) All I'm saying is, it was a dream come true for me.

**Lucas Taylor: **Pun intended? You people are disgusting.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **You're just bitter because you're destined to die alone.

**Lucas Taylor: **Any chance I could take you with me?

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Not if you were the only caveman left on this prehistoric world.

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon: <strong>Someone care to explain who went through my underwear drawer last night? Or who borrowed my coconut bra?

**Josh Shannon: **You have a coconut bra? O.o

**Maddy Shannon: **Yes, and never mind, I found it—on me -_-

**Mark Reynolds: **That was certainly one of the more interesting moments of the night, I'll give you that.

* * *

><p><strong>Dr. Incrediblastic: <strong>I'd love for someone to just tell me how to change my name back. Anyone? Also, I understand we were all pretty drunk last night but REALLY? Who emptied the trash cans all over my rover?

**Alicia Washington: **It was probably for the best, Malcolm. You should never drink and drive.

* * *

><p><strong>Elisabeth Shannon: <strong>To the charming guest who decided to TP my bathroom: CLEAN IT UP!

**Jim Shannon: **Sorry…

* * *

><p><strong>Zoe Shannon: <strong>The tooth fairy came last night! And she left me a half-empty bottle of beer under my pillow :D

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Oh Lord…

**Hunter Boyce: **You didn't drink it all, did you? There's still some left, right?

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Anyone up for an intervention for **Hunter Boyce**?

**Tasha Guzman: **You're such a lush, Hunter.

**Max Pope: **Does two o'clock work for everyone?

* * *

><p><strong>Alicia Washington <strong>to **Mira: **Seriously, what exactly happened last night?

_Mira likes this._

**Mira: **Wonderful things for me to write about on my blog :D

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon <strong>shared a link with **Elisabeth Shannon: **Found this video of you from last night. Just thought you'd like to see it…

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Good heavens, is that my thong?

**Dr. Incrediblastic: **Actually, you borrowed that one from me after you spilled beer on yours…

**Alicia Washington: **So many disturbing things running through my mind right now…

**Jim Shannon: **Good job Malcolm, now Wash needs therapy -_-

* * *

><p><strong>Tommy Boylan: <strong>While the rest of you gripe about your senseless buffoonery last night, I'd like to remind everyone that I am owed over 500 terras in bar tab fees. Pay up.

**Dunham: **Yeah **Tim Curran**. Pay the man :P

**Tim Curran: **How is this my problem?

**Dunham: **On second thought, don't pay the man. We all know what happened last time you owed a guy money…

**Reilly: **Dude, it's still too soon…

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Think I'll end there! Hope you liked it! This was all based on ideas readers like you submitted. I just ran with it. So please leave a review letting me know exactly what you would like to see the good citizens get up to next. Who knows, maybe it'll be your idea that I run with next time around. Thanks again, don't forget to review—it'll ultimately be what saves this story from being ended so quickly! And PS—this chapter was complete crack. Like even by my standards…**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: Response is still strong, which is awesome! But I really do still need ideas if this is going to continue on. I think I've got enough for this chapter. After that, it's all up in the air so I NEED your help. Please, if you have any idea, no matter how silly you may think it is, I want to hear it! Leave it in a review or message me. I will consider EVERYTHING! If you want more, then I need your help!**

* * *

><p><strong>Josh Shannon: <strong>I would like to let everyone know: I AM AN IDIOT!

_Hunter Boyce, Maddy Shannon, and four others like this._

**Maddy Shannon: **You said it, not me…

**Josh Shannon: **Not funny, Maddy. Someone hacked my account!

**Maddy Shannon: **HA! Did they really? You totally deserve it :P

**Josh Shannon: **-_-

* * *

><p><strong>Dr. Incrediblastic: <strong>Seriously? It's been two days since that wild night and I still haven't figured out how to change my name back…

_Alicia Washington, Jim Shannon, and four others like this._

**Alicia Washington: **Please don't. I like it like this…

**Dr. Incrediblastic: **Oh, and I've also just discovered that someone let all the air out of my tires again.

**Alicia Washington: **Sorry Doc Incrediblastic, not my department :P

* * *

><p><strong>Alicia Washington <strong>shared a link with **Nathaniel Taylor: **Thought you should read some of Mira's blog, sir. You know, for intelligence purposes…

_Mira likes this._

**Nathaniel Taylor: **What the…? How did SHE know about that night…?

**Mira: **I'm like the paparazzi. I know what you do in your free time ;)

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Wash, have more people posted on the walls during patrols. Can't let Mira slip in again, can we?

**Mira: **Spoilsport.

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds <strong>to **Maddy Shannon: **That was a lot of fun, today! My heart was really pounding towards the end…

_Maddy Shannon likes this._

**Maddy Shannon: **Mine too. But it felt so good!

**Mark Reynolds: **Tomorrow I'll teach you a fun new position I learned. But you really do need to bend over for this one…

**Maddy Shannon: **I've been working on my flexibility. I think I'll surprise you this time.

**Jim Shannon: **O.o Do you have ANY idea how this could be perceived?

**Maddy Shannon: **Dad, we were doing cardio today. Tomorrow we're doing yoga. You can relax now.

**Jim Shannon: **I can't be too careful. I'm not sure what it is you two get up to when I'm not around.

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>to **Nathaniel Taylor: **Hi Daddy-O. What do you think about a truce?

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Lucas, I'm STILL not giving you any money. And my pet dinosaur is going to have a hell of a lot of protection once I'm gone so don't even THINK about robbing him of his inheritance!

**Lucas Taylor: **Dammit.

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>checked in to "Terra Nova Colony."

* * *

><p><strong>Alicia Washington <strong>to **Nathaniel Taylor: **Sir, **Tim Curran **and I just apprehended **Lucas Taylor**. He was slinking around the market place spying on **Skye "Bucket" Tate**. Did you teach that girl how to wield a taser?

_Nathaniel Taylor likes this. _

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Bring him in, Wash. And yes, I taught her to use a taser. You can never be too careful…

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>to **Skye "Bucket" Tate: **I still love you. Even if you tasered me.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **I'll gladly do it again if I catch you watching me.

**Lucas Taylor: **Don't worry. Next time you see me will be in your dreams ;) Or your shower…

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **I swear I need a restraining order out against you.

**Lucas Taylor: **As if that would stop me…

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon: <strong>*sniffle, sniffle* I'm sick :(

**Josh Shannon: **We know -_-

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Maddy, I warned you not to go outside in the rain without a coat yesterday…

**Maddy Shannon: **Some help you are, Mom! You're a doctor!

**Elisabeth Shannon: **I'm at work, darling. I'll tend to you when I get home.

**Josh Shannon: **Please hurry. She's been whining all day.

**Maddy Shannon: **Keep talking. I'll blow my nose in all of your clean shirts.

**Josh Shannon: **Why not? It's the only thing you HAVEN'T blown your nose into yet.

**Maddy Shannon: **Leave me alone! I'm sick.

**Mark Reynolds: **You're sick? :(

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Josh Shannon: **See? THAT'S how you care for the sick. **Mark Reynolds **was kind enough to bring me soup and those extra-soft two-ply tissues. What did you do? Make noise and bother me.

_Josh Shannon likes this._

**Josh Shannon: **In other words, all is as it should be :P

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Mark Reynolds: **Thank you for being the only person in the colony who actually cared enough to take care of me :)

_Mark Reynolds likes this._

**Mark Reynolds: **Just doin' my job, ma'am.

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor: <strong>Need help coming up with ways to punish **Lucas Taylor**. Ideas, anyone?

_Skye "Bucket" Tate, Alicia Washington, and six others like this. _

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Remove his tongue with a pair of pliers. Then gouge his eyes out with hot cattle prods. Then, when you're done with that, remove each and every one of his fingernails and toenails and pluck his eyebrows and eyelashes one hair at a time. Finally, break both his legs and coat him with gravy before tossing him outside the colony. How's that?

**Alicia Washington: **Positively medieval. I like it!

**Lucas Taylor: **Y'hear that? She wants my tongue…

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **After all of that and the only thing you got was that I want your tongue? Are you illiterate or just generally stupid?

**Nathaniel Taylor: **As good as your idea was, Skye, I'm going to need more plausible options…

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **So just break both his legs and coat him in gravy before tossing him OTG. Or drop him over one of the land mines. That works too.

**Alicia Washington: **No. We are NOT throwing him on one of the mines. I'd be the one stuck cleaning up Lucas guts -_-

* * *

><p><strong>Reilly <strong>to **Nathaniel Taylor: **Sir! **Lucas Taylor **has just escaped. And he did a number on **Tim Curran**'s left eye. It's gonna leave a shiner for a few days at least…

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Dammit! Which way did he go?

**Dunham: **We lost him :(

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>to **Nathaniel Taylor: **Nah, nah, nah, boo, boo :P

**Nathaniel Taylor: **-_-

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>shared a link with **Skye "Bucket" Tate: **"Every Breath You Take" by The Police.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Why, Lucas, why?

**Lucas Taylor: **Every single day, every word you say, I'll be watching you…

* * *

><p><strong>Skye "Bucket" Tate <strong>shared a link with **Lucas Taylor: **"Back Off Bitch" by Guns 'N' Roses.

**Lucas Taylor: **Clever.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Take the hint.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay, that concludes chapter 9. Still not getting nearly enough fresh ideas from people to produce a tenth. Hopefully that will change. Shout outs to metube for suggesting we see more of Mark/Maddy innuendo, Inkblood for suggesting Lucas come to Terra Nova under the premise of a truce and Josh's account getting hacked, Glemonade mouth Maddy and Reynolds (all one word) for the idea of Maddy getting sick, and MaybeSage for suggesting more Skye/Lucas interaction. These were all great ideas and I hope more of you will write in yours! In the words of Inkblood: peace, love, and slashers! (love that sign-off, by the way!) **


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: I seriously love all of you. You've given me enough for a tenth chapter! For those of you who didn't read the reviews, I DID post a response to all my anonymous reviewers. Actually, it was my dormouse secretary, but I dictated everything. Anywho, I want to call attention to two special reviewers. One is Inkblood, who has so kindly fed me so many tantalizing ideas to run with. I have managed to distract poor Inky from earning a degree in the meantime. My bad. And a big shout out now to one intrepid reviewer who goes by Dr. Incrediblastic. I now give you:**

**Dr. Incrediblastic on Inspiration…**

"_**Seriously, does anyone know how to change my name? This is getting ridiculous! **_

_**Since the omnipotent fanfic author wants advice on how to run my universe (seriously, how often does that happen?) **_

_**Plot idea 1: Jim Shannon is trapped in a volcano and watches the lava rise slowly until it reaches the ledge he's on, and then he dies an agonizing, painful death, and nobody dares to touch my rover or hack my account again.**_

_**Plot idea 2: Jim's widow marries me.**_

_**Plot idea 3: After Taylor refuses to tell anyone how he broke his arm except to say he tripped, someone anonymously posts a video of him getting tackled and owned by a five-year-old on TerraNovaTube, and the video goes viral. **_

_**Plot idea 4: Break the 4th wall again by having everyone freak out at Malcolm's requests to a certain fanfic writer. **_

_**The last two aren't my ideas; a lurker gave it to me because she says she doesn't post reviews, so priority on the first two, and put the last two on the back-burner (I would personally prefer that we keep my wish-list confidential, can we do that?) Said lurker also wanted to let you know that she's really enjoying the fic.**_

_**Now…how do I change my name?**_

**So a big thank you to Doc Incrediblastic and the lurker, because I nearly died of laughter reading the review. And thanks, of course, to all my other AMAZING reviewers who never cease to amaze me. If I could, I'd marry you all! Actually, that's creepy so never mind, but you get the point! Onwards…**

* * *

><p><strong>Elisabeth Shannon: Malcolm Wallace <strong>entertains some rather severe fantasies. I'm concerned.

_Jim Shannon likes this._

**Malcolm Wallace: **Shut up, Jim. Shouldn't you be in a volcano by now?

**Jim Shannon: **Eh. If I died in a volcano, at least I'd die like a BAMF.

**Mira: **BAMF is a registered trademark of my blog. I'm going to have to request that you either remove your post or pay me 150 terras in royalties.

**Jim Shannon: **If you can get through the gates of Terra Nova to meet with me, we'll talk.

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Josh Shannon: **Did you see what **Malcolm Wallace **wrote in a review to the author?

**Josh Shannon: **What author?

**Maddy Shannon: **You know, the one who's writing all of our statuses.

**Josh Shannon: **WE are writing our statuses. There is NO author other than US!

**Maddy Shannon: **There is too! And he has a dormouse secretary!

**Josh Shannon: **I'm slowly relapsing into "Fourth Wall Rage."

**Maddy Shannon: **Guess what, Josh! This is a STORY! With people reviewing it! Sorry if that's an "Inconvenient Truth." Get it? Environmentalist joke :D

**Josh Shannon: **I. Will. Slap. You.

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon <strong>checked into "Volcano."

_Malcolm Wallace likes this._

**Malcolm Wallace: **This can't be happening! I must be dreaming!

**Jim Shannon: **Sorry, Malcomus, but it isn't happening. I'm just messing with you :P

**Malcolm Wallace: **I hate you, Jim. I'll hate you forever!

* * *

><p><strong>Zoe Shannon: <strong>Oh no! The people in the science department are saying there won't be any more apples for a long time because of the mold!

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Oh dear. I guess we'll buy as many as we can then!

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Agreed!

**Dunham: **Apples are a commodity now? Time to turn a profit! I mean…no apples. Boo.

* * *

><p><strong>Alicia Washington: <strong>Dammit, the apples are moldy again. There's been a run on the orchards today, everyone grab 'em while you can!

_Elisabeth Shannon, Dunham, and four others like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>Going to the orchards to get some apples before they're all gone.

**Jim Shannon: **Too late. They're all gone.

**Malcolm Wallace: **You're kidding again, right? :0

**Jim Shannon: **Nope. This time I'm serious. Sorry Malcomus…

**Malcolm Wallace: **If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go home and weep. Bitterly.

**Jim Shannon: **Have a good time :)

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Casey Durwin: **Hi Mr. Durwin, I was wondering if I could maybe trade you a wheel for some apples?

_Casey Durwin likes this._

**Casey Durwin: **Sure, I could always use more wheels, my damn power chair is always breaking.

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Mark Reynolds: **Can you help me get another wheel, perhaps?

_Mark Reynolds likes this._

**Mark Reynolds: **I don't know…I think you'd have to pay me…

**Maddy Shannon: **With what?

**Jim Shannon: **The payment better not be in the form of…

**Maddy Shannon: **DAD! Stop creeping on my account activity :/

**Mark Reynolds: **If you let me have some of the apples, we have a deal.

**Maddy Shannon: **Fair.

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>So, since everyone is trading for apples, I was wondering if anyone would like to share apples with me? I'm sure I could come up with something to offer you in return…

**Alicia Washington: **No.

**Jim Shannon: **Nope.

**Casey Durwin: **Them apples are mine.

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Sorry, Malcolm.

**Malcolm Wallace: **Great. Guess I'll just be alone and apple-less.

**Jim Shannon: **How 'bout them apples? :D

**Malcolm Wallace: **The bad apple puns aren't helping.

**Jim Shannon: **It's ok, Malcolm. You'll always be the 'apple of my eye' :D

**Malcolm Wallace: **Seriously. Stop it.

**Jim Shannon: **Oh, don't let a few bad apples spoil your bushel :D

**Malcolm Wallace: **I swear to God I will kill you in your sleep.

**Jim Shannon: **Aw, Malcolm, don't be such a crabapple :D

**Malcolm Wallace: **JIM!

**Jim Shannon: **Ok, I'm done now.

**Malcolm Wallace: **Thank you.

**Jim Shannon: **You're welcome. APParently, they weren't APPreciated anyway. Oh come on, that was golden…delicious!

**Malcolm Wallace: **Strongly considering employing the use of a poisoned apple…

**Jim Shannon: **See? Now you're getting it!

**Malcolm Wallace: **-_-

* * *

><p><strong>Alicia Washington: <strong>I was just OTG, and I can now confirm what we suspected all along: slashers are some NASTY mofos -_-

_Jim Shannon, Nathaniel Taylor, and six others like this._

**Mark Reynolds: **Agreed :)

**Slasher: **Uh, hey? Guys? I have feelings too, y'know!

**Alicia Washington: **WTF? A slasher that can social network?

**Slasher: **You've never heard of evolution?

**Jim Shannon: **SLAY THE BEAST!

**Slasher: **Ya'll are REALLY rude to company! :/

**Malcolm Wallace: **You'd make an interesting experimental subject in my laboratory…

**Nathaniel Taylor: **He'd make a better coffee table to go with my desk. Then I'd have a matching set!

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Jim did ask if we could get a dino-runner for the foyer…

**Maddy Shannon: **GUYS! What are you saying? We should be removing its brain to study!

**Josh Shannon: **I don't know. I like the idea of teaching it stand-up comedy and making it perform for us on Saturday nights…

**Slasher: **Yeah, that's cool. Nobody ask ME what I want to do with my life. You people are just like my parents…

**Zoe Shannon: **Dinosaurs need love too :( Be nice to the slasher!

**Slasher: **Yeah, what she said! I'm the reason your show even exists! Without the dinosaurs, you'd just be a bunch of people standing around in the wilderness for forty-five minutes on Monday evenings!

**Josh Shannon: **Wait, so even the DINOSAURS break fourth wall now?

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>To add insult to injury, someone put a whole bunch of apple peels into my rover! What kind of person would do this?

_Alicia Washingon, Jim Shannon, and two others like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>likes the pages "Landon Liboiron" and "Dean Geyer."

**Josh Shannon: **Wait…that guys looks…just like me. And the other one looks like **Mark Reynolds** o_O

**Maddy Shannon: **Maybe because they play you and Mark respectively on the television show?

**Josh Shannon: **O_O

* * *

><p><strong>Josh Shannon: <strong>If anyone needs me, I'll be in the panic room screaming…

_Maddy Shannon likes this._

* * *

><p><strong>Josh Shannon <strong>to **Maddy Shannon: **Okay, I'm confused. So there was a television show about us back in 2011 on FOX? And it accurately portrayed everything going on here? HOW?

_Maddy Shannon likes this._

**Maddy Shannon: **Time fracture. They sent all the video recordings through it and…wait, I might be spoiling the next season's plotlines. I'm shutting up now.

**Josh Shannon: **There was more than one season?

**Maddy Shannon: **I'm not sure…more stuff happened after Terra Nova got destroyed (look at us now) but I don't know if all the people of the past got to see it yet…Hello viewers!

**Josh Shannon: **But…but you can't just tease all this stuff and then NOT show it! There _has _to be more! I need to know how I end up!

**Maddy Shannon: **All in due time. There's like a huge fan movement to get a second season. They sent petitions to FOX and everything.

**Josh Shannon: **Send me the link. I'm signing that petition!

* * *

><p><strong>Josh Shannon: <strong>I can't stop watching old episodes of Terra Nova. It's like déjà vu and I know EXACTLY what's going to happen next but it's still so thrilling!

_Maddy Shannon likes this._

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>to **Zoe Shannon: **Hey, Zoe…

**Zoe Shannon: **Who are you?

**Lucas Taylor: **I'm just a kindly neighbor. I was wondering if you'd like some free candy?

**Jim Shannon: **Zoe, we are changing your privacy settings as soon as I get home.

* * *

><p><strong>Zoe Shannon <strong>shared a link with **Lucas Taylor: **"Dinosaur" by Ke$ha.

**Lucas Taylor: **Well then…

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Way to be, Z! Lucas, you just got REJECTED by a six year old!

**Lucas Taylor: **But what about a sixTEEN year old? Hi **Maddy Shannon** :)

**Maddy Shannon: **O_O **Mark Reynolds**, please take care of this problem for me.

**Mark Reynolds: **Anything for you! I'm going to enjoy this…

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>checked in to "Sixer Camp Infirmary."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: And there's your tenth chapter milestone update! This is mostly a mish-mosh of ideas from my awesome reviewers, mixed in with some of my own insanity. Please leave a review with any further ideas you may have if you want there to be an eleventh chapter. I've introduced some new direction to take this story in, but I'm still starved for ideas. Only you can fix that :)**

**PS: If you didn't get the Ke$ha song reference, google the lyrics. It'll make much more sense to you then :)  
><strong>


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: Guess who's back! And I'm doing another chapter! Hooray! Again, tons of ideas have been pouring in from all over and I'm only too happy to incorporate as many as I can. So without further ado, the very latest in this Terra Nova social network insanity! Read and then review, because the future of this story's up to you! (If you read it out loud, it rhymes!) PS: My dormouse says hi to you all :)**

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>Every single one of my tires was slashed mercilessly again this morning. Seriously people, this has gone on long enough! Just tell me who did it, I'm not even mad anymore, just annoyed!

_Jim Shannon and Alicia Washington like this._

**Jim Shannon: **I'm inclined to agree. This is just getting childish and ridiculous. Someone just fess up already!

**Zoe Shannon: **Ok. It was me.

**Jim Shannon: **Zoe, it couldn't have been you. You've been with me this whole time.

**Zoe Shannon: **I know that, but you wanted someone to confess, so I did :)

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon: <strong>OMG, just found out that there's TONS more fan fiction out there than I ever imagined! And they even wrote stuff for me and **Mark Reynolds **:D

_Mark Reynolds likes this._

**Jim Shannon: **Oh no. You mean there are people actually writing about you two?

**Josh Shannon: **Cool. Everyone gets their own fan fiction pairings except me. I'm only the biggest Terra Nova fan here.

**Maddy Shannon: **Do some research. I'm sure there's plenty of stories about you. Example: here's one where you fall out of a tree and get a concussion! I'm adding this one to my favorites list.

**Josh Shannon: **You're the one who likes spending time in and around trees…

**Maddy Shannon: **Those are on my favorites list too ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Mark Reynolds: **Have you seen some of these stories about us? They're SO cute!

_Mark Reynolds likes this. _

**Mark Reynolds: **I read a few…

**Maddy Shannon: **Oh goodness—here's one where we…y'know what, let's just leave those "M" rated ones alone. I think my dad would kill us…

**Mark Reynolds: **Agreed.

**Maddy Shannon: **Oh no! Here's one where you die :( Maybe I should go check out something else…

* * *

><p><strong>Skye "Bucket" Tate <strong>to **Tasha Guzman: **Did you hear about what 'they' did last night? 

_Tasha Guzman likes this._

**Tasha Guzman: **Totally. I never would have seen it coming though! He normally seems so professional and reserved around her…

**Jim Shannon: **Who? :0

* * *

><p><strong>Elisabeth Shannon <strong>to **Malcolm Wallace: **Did you hear about 'you-know-who' and 'you-know-who?' Who would've expected it to happen so soon?

_Malcolm Wallace likes this._

**Malcolm Wallace: **I know. We knew it would happen eventually but still, they're already…you know…back at his place!

**Jim Shannon: **WHO? :0

* * *

><p><strong>Hunter Boyce <strong>to **Max Pope: **Dude, did you hear? He finally scored! He deserves mad props, I never thought he'd go through with it!

_Max Pope likes this._

**Max Pope: **Seriously.

**Jim Shannon: **WHO GODDAMMIT? :0

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon <strong>to **Mark Reynolds: **What exactly have you and Maddy been up to lately?

**Mark Reynolds: **The usual, sir. We went to the Eye, had lunch a few times…

**Jim Shannon: **Don't play games with me, Reynolds. I've heard what's been going on with 'them' lately and it's obvious it's the two of you.

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Jim! Is that what you thought this was about? No, no, you're wrong. It's actually about…you know what, I'll just inbox you…

**Jim Shannon: **Whoa! I get it now! That is really cute in a creepy sort of way…

**Alicia Washington: **Who is 'them' anyway?

**Jim Shannon: **Don't worry about it…

* * *

><p><strong>Skye "Bucket" Tate: Lucas Taylor <strong>is the sexiest man alive. I love him so much and I want to marry him and have his babies.

_Lucas Taylor likes this._

**Lucas Taylor: **Why Skye! I had no idea you felt that way about me!  
><strong>Skye "Bucket" Tate: <strong>Well I can't resist you anymore you handsome, charming chunk of a man!

**Lucas Taylor: **All true.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Oh yuck! How the hell did you crack my password, you asshole?

**Lucas Taylor: **Eh. Fantasy had to end sometime…

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>To whoever super glued my rover to the ground and filled it with spray cheese: I sincerely hope you suffer.

_Jim Shannon and Alicia Washington like this. _

**Malcolm Wallace **is in a relationship.

**Jim Shannon: **Are you kidding?

**Alicia Washington: **Who is she? Your buttcrack?

**Malcolm Wallace: **Very funny, you two. She's a member of the science department. She's been away for a while but she's coming back now. We've been chatting lately…

**Jim Shannon: **So…she's either desperate, ugly as butt, or you're a lot richer than I thought.

**Malcolm Wallace: **She isn't desperate or ugly. I'm irresistible!

**Alicia Washington: **I'll believe it when I see it.

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace <strong>posted a new picture: This is me and my beautiful girlfriend!

**Jim Shannon: **Whoa! Is that Megan Fox? How did they get the budget to bring her in?

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Jim…

**Jim Shannon: **Sorry. Just wondering how we could afford her…

**Malcolm Wallace: **How I could afford her, you mean?

**Alicia Washington: **Sorry to disappoint you, Malcolm, but I just had a talk with the author and apparently we can't afford to keep paying Megan Fox to just stand around and drape herself over your shoulders, so she's only here for this chapter.

**Malcolm Wallace: **Oh for God's sake! The author finally does something nice for me and he decides to go take it away next chapter. I bet _he's _the one who's messing with my rover.

**Jim Shannon: **My money's on the dormouse. Can't trust those critters…

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon: <strong>ZOMG, I just found like a TON of pairings for fan fiction :D

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Maddy, I'm beginning to think you may have a slight addiction. You're turning into **Mira**.

**Mira: **There is NOTHING wrong with reading some fan fiction here and there, okay?

**Maddy Shannon: **I'm a shipper now!

**Elisabeth Shannon: **A what?

**Maddy Shannon: **A shipper! It's…you know what, you wouldn't understand. NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME!

**Elisabeth Shannon: **This is exactly what I meant when I said you have a problem…

**Maddy Shannon: **Mom, I have no idea what you're talking about. AH! OH MY GOD THERE'S A PAIRING FOR DAD AND COMMANDER TAYLOR! OH GOD NO :0

**Jim Shannon: **Excuse me while I hurl.

**Nathaniel Taylor:** Don't worry, sheriff, the feeling's mutual.

**Maddy Shannon: **Thank God, because we all know who you truly find attractive. Wink, wink, **Alicia Washington**.

**Mira: **Okay fangirl, time to step off. I OWN that pairing. It was okay when you read all the fics with you and your soldier boyfriend (seriously, how many of those are going to get written?) but when you cross into my territory, I start getting angry. Like a carno.

**Maddy Shannon: **Fine. There's tons more where that came from. There's Josh and Skye, Sam Marcos and Zoe puppy love, Dad and Mom, Reilly and Dunham, HOLY CRAP DID SOMEONE SERIOUSLY WRITE SOMETHING WITH ME AND JOSH? YOU SICKOS!

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **As disgusting as that sounds, try reading the ones with me and Lucas.

**Lucas Taylor: **So you've seen them too?

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Unfortunately.

* * *

><p><strong>Skye "Bucket" Tate: <strong>Okay, so this is Lucas typing again. I'd just like to let you know that I've broken into the colony and taken Skye with me to be my bride. Kthanksbye!

_Lucas Taylor likes this._

* * *

><p><strong>Skye "Bucket" Tate <strong>checked into "Terra Nova: Southeast Gate."

* * *

><p><strong>Skye "Bucket" Tate: <strong>He's taking me to his rover. I'll update on where we go. And seriously, **Lucas Taylor**? I don't want to see your lair…

_Lucas Taylor likes this._

**Lucas Taylor: **I prefer the term 'man cave.'

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **That's a loaded statement…

* * *

><p><strong>Skye "Bucket" Tate <strong>checked in to "Lucas' Lair"

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Alright, we're in a cave about three clicks south of Terra Nova. Someone help me. Please. It stinks. And the cave doesn't smell pleasant either.

* * *

><p><strong>Skye "Bucket" Tate <strong>checked into "Outside Lucas' Lair."

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **See ya, sucker!

* * *

><p><strong>Skye "Bucket" Tate <strong>checked into "Terra Nova."

**Lucas Taylor: **Once again, forever alone :(

_Skye "Bucket" Tate likes this._

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon <strong>to **Malcolm Wallace: **I just caught your rover vandal in the act. And you are not going to BELIEVE who's been doing it…

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Ah! Teaser! Haha, I just couldn't keep up the vandal thingy much longer without an answer, but I'll keep you running in circles a while longer. This was incredibly cracky and probably not too good but I'm high on green tea, Chex mix, cough drops, and chicken soup right now so I'm wired, I wrote this at midnight, and I don't really care! Please review anyway. New ideas are welcome! Also, I was wondering if maybe a certain Katrina Coleman should make an appearance here? Go see my fic "Trouble in Paradise" if you aren't familiar with her. I think it could be fun to have her just ruin everyone's day. Let me know :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: OKAY: VERY IMPORTANT: Terra Nova has been cancelled :( Word broke on March 5 that Fox would not be renewing it for a second season. BUT: all hope is not lost—20th Century (the studio that produced Terra Nova) is shopping it to other networks. Hopefully SOMEONE will rescue our beloved fandom :( Latest word is that Netflix is in negotiations to renew the series. Hopefully it'll go through! **

**Also important: this will be the LAST chapter of this story. Sorry to disappoint but I feel I've exhausted this story and it's time to put it out to pasture. So I'll wrap up any ongoing plot points and throw in a dash of comedy and hopefully you guys will stay with me and read the rest of my stories. Thanks for all the support I've received—it means a TON to me!**

* * *

><p><strong>Josh Shannon <strong>is in a relationship with **Skye "Bucket" Tate.**

_Maddy Shannon, Mark Reynolds, and fourteen others like this._

**Maddy Shannon: **It's about time! Good for you two :)

**Lucas Taylor: **OH COME ON!

**Hunter Boyce: **OH COME ON!

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **I've realized I have a huge problem with my "brothers" having crushes on me…-_-

* * *

><p><strong>Dunham <strong>to **Tim Curran: **Oh my God, you killed Kenny! You bastard!

**Laura Reilly: **Dunham, how many times do I have to tell you it's too soon?

**Tim Curran: **It's getting very old, very fast.

**Mark Reynolds: **Not funny, man. Ken Foster was a friend.

**Rebecca Milner: **A very good friend ;)

**Dunham: **Floozy…

**Rebecca Milner: **Not a floozy, just a woman of the world ;)

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace <strong>to **Jim Shannon: **So…are you going to tell me who's been vandalizing my beloved rover?

**Alicia Washington: **We're all dying to know!

**Jim Shannon: **Still waiting on a written confession before I can reveal any further information on the matter…

**Malcolm Wallace: **Damn your confession just TELL us!

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon: <strong>That one devastating moment when your curling iron shorts out -_-

_Skye "Bucket" Tate and Tasha Guzman like this._

**Josh Shannon: **Oh yes. Quite devastating. I can't imagine anything more devastating. Oh wait a sec, how about EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED WHEN THE PHOENIX GROUP CAME THROUGH HERE?

**Maddy Shannon: **You're not a girl. You don't understand.

**Mark Reynolds: **Maddy, I'm sorry for your loss. But you're still just as beautiful however your hair looks.

**Maddy Shannon: **See, Josh? THAT'S how you deal with the situation.

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Josh Shannon: **You want devastating? How about this: FOX just cancelled Terra Nova :(

**Josh Shannon: **WHAT? After everything we suffered so that their ratings could soar, they thank us by dropping us? WHAT KIND OF DECISION IS THAT? Does this mean that I cease to exist? O.o

**Maddy Shannon: **Relax, doofus, you're still here. Unfortunately.

* * *

><p><strong>Zoe Shannon <strong>to **Jim Shannon: **Daddy, what's an illegal immigrant?

**Jim Shannon: **Why do you want to know?

**Zoe Shannon: **Because some kids at school said that you are one. And I am too.

**Jim Shannon: **-_-

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor: <strong>That one devastating moment when your beard trimmer shorts out -_-

_Maddy Shannon likes this._

**Maddy Shannon: **I know exactly how you feel…

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon <strong>and **Mark Reynolds **like "Petition to Give Commander Taylor an Eyepatch."

**Nathaniel Taylor: **What is the meaning of all this?

**Jim Shannon: **Eye patches make everyone look so much cooler! :D

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>Why do I get the feeling that the author isn't going to reveal the rover vandal until the end of this whole thing?

_Jim Shannon likes this._

**Jim Shannon: **WHOA! It's like you're psychic or something!

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor <strong>is in a relationship with **Alicia Washington**.

_Mira and eighteen others like this._

**Mira: **For realzies?

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Yes, for realzies this time.

**Lucas Taylor: **That's just disgusting, Dad. Keep that private D: Also, thanks a lot because Mira just hyperventilated from squealing and I do believe her nose is bleeding as well. -_-

**Maddy Shannon: **Awwwww! :)

**Dunham: **Permission to comment, sir?

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Denied.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **It's cute. In an odd sort of way…

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Congratulations! Do I hear wedding bells? And you see **Jim**? There wasn't any need to overreact about "them."

**Jim Shannon: **Okay, yes, I get it. I spoke too soon before. Congrats, I guess. It's still really weird…

**Alicia Washington: **Okay, yes, everyone just shut up about it, alright? Don't you people have jobs or something?

* * *

><p><strong>Kitty Coleman: <strong>Guess who's ba-ack!

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Well look what the carno dragged in…

**Maddy Shannon: **YOU! WHY?

**Andrew Fickett (Ken Horton): **Why hello there! I found myself a new cellmate!

**Kitty Coleman: **Ewwwww! I'd rather share a cell with **Mark Reynolds **;)

**Mark Reynolds: **Oh crap. O.o

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Kitty Coleman: **LEAVE MARK ALONE! D:

_Mark Reynolds and Skye "Bucket" Tate like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>to **Kitty Coleman: **Hey, sweet thang!

**Kitty Coleman: **Do I know you?

**Lucas Taylor: **No. But baby, I'd LOVE to get to know you ;)

**Kitty Coleman: **Back off—you look like a creep!

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Finally! Something you and I can agree on!

**Kitty Coleman: **So…does that mean you won't hurt me? :D

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **No. I'm still gonna break your face.

**Kitty Coleman: **-_-

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon <strong>to **Elisabeth Shannon: **You know, I've been thinking that we should adopt a pet dinosaur.

_Zoe Shannon likes this._

**Elisabeth Shannon: **What ever for?

**Jim Shannon: **EVERY modern stone-age family needs a pet dinosaur…

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>I still want to know who's been vandalizing my rover D:

_Jim Shannon and Alicia Washington like this._

**Jim Shannon: **Easy there, Malcolmus. It isn't over yet.

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>shared a link with **Kitty Coleman: **"Nicki Minaj Music Video: Stupid Hoe."

_Skye "Bucket" Tate and Mark Reynolds like this._

**Kitty Coleman: **I find that quite offensive.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe that was the point…

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon <strong>to **Slasher: **Hey, if you're interested, I have someone that I need you to "take care of" as discreetly as possible.

_Slasher likes this._

**Dunham: **Who you gonna call? **Tim Curran**!

**Slasher: **Sorry, I'm a bit busy at the moment. But do send me the details…

**Kitty Coleman: **Oh no you don't! Not again! PS: hint—the first step in being discreet is not posting it all over your social networking page.

* * *

><p><strong>Malcolm Wallace: <strong>Poke war with **Alicia Washington**. It's on like Donkey Kong!

_Alicia Washington likes this._

**Alicia Washington: **Cute. Malcolm thinks he stands a chance…

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon <strong>to **Nathaniel Taylor: **I'm just about done with the interrogation, sir. Would you like a few words with the suspect?

_Nathaniel Taylor and Malcolm Wallace like this._

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Yes I would, sheriff.

**Malcolm Wallace: **Goddammit just tell me already!

* * *

><p><strong>Elisabeth Shannon: <strong>Family dinner tonight. **Maddy Shannon **and **Josh Shannon **should bring a friend :)

_Maddy Shannon, Josh Shannon, and five others like this._

**Maddy Shannon: **I know who I'm bringing :D

**Josh Shannon: **Me too :D

**Zoe Shannon: **Can I bring a friend too?

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Of course, dear. Who are you bringing?

**Zoe Shannon: **I'm inviting **Sam Marcos **:)

**Jim Shannon: **WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! Back up—you're inviting a BOY?

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Jim, they're six years old.

**Jim Shannon: **So what? He could still get ideas…

* * *

><p><strong>Mark Reynolds: <strong>Just put **Tim Curran **to shame in basketball :D

_Alicia Washington, Maddy Shannon, and two others like this._

**Tim Curran: **Attention everyone: Mark Reynolds is a boastful child incapable of growing facial hair!

**Mark Reynolds: **That's a lie! I can grow facial hair! I just shave it off!

**Tim Curran: **Likely story. Why the heck would you shave it all off?

**Mark Reynolds: **Because my GIRLFRIEND likes the feel of smooth skin rubbing against her you-know-whats ;)

**Tim Curran: **Fine. You win. Again. -_-

**Jim Shannon: **She likes the feel of what against her WHAT now?

**Mark Reynolds: **Uh…

**Maddy Shannon: **Oh no. Not the chastity belt again!

* * *

><p><strong>Josh Shannon: <strong>Who replaced my shampoo with pink hair dye?

_Maddy Shannon, Zoe Shannon, and six others like this._

**Maddy Shannon: **Hahahahahahahahahaha!

**Josh Shannon: **Not funny, Maddy -_- I look like a clown.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **I dunno, babe, I think it's a good look for you :P

* * *

><p><strong>Max Pope: <strong>So what we get drunk? So what we don't sleep? We're just having fun, we don't care who sees. So what we go out? That's how it's supposed to be: living young and wild and free…

_Skye "Bucket" Tate, Hunter Boyce, and two others like this._

**Hunter Boyce: **My anthem!

**Tasha Guzman: **Preach it!

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor <strong>to **Alicia Washington: **You're wearing what now? ;)

_Mira likes this._

**Mira: **SQUEEEEE! OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!

**Lucas Taylor: **GROSS!

**Alicia Washington: **Uh, Nathaniel? You were supposed to put that into a private message, NOT AS YOUR STATUS -_-

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Crap. I hate technology.

* * *

><p><strong>Lucas Taylor <strong>to **Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Okay, okay, how about a truce? I'll leave you alone if you let me father your children.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Um…how exactly do you plan to leave me alone AND father my children? And no!

**Lucas Taylor: **I swear I'll pay child support!

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **No, Lucas.

**Lucas Taylor: **Can I godfather your children, then?

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **I'll think about it…

* * *

><p><strong>Dormouse <strong>to **Jim Shannon: **Okay, buddy. Listen up. Ebi isn't aware that I'm on here (he doesn't allow me to have contact with the characters for fear that I'll 'corrupt their minds' or whatever). Anyway I REALLY need this job—it pays very well and not many people can afford to pay in mozzarella anymore. So when you start flinging accusations that I'M the one vandalizing the rover, that makes me look bad. And when I look bad I might get fired. I can't get fired—I have twenty-eight children to provide for! So kindly STEP OFF. Thanks.

_Jim Shannon likes this._

**Jim Shannon: **Uh…did I just get told off by a dormouse?

**Malcolm Wallace: **Why yes. Yes you did.

* * *

><p><strong>Maddy Shannon: <strong>Rock my world into the sunlight, make this dream the best I've ever known…

_Mark Reynolds, Skye "Bucket" Tate, and two others like this._

**Hunter Boyce: **Ugh. I hate that song.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **I LOVE THAT SONG :D

**Hunter Boyce: **ME TOO :D

* * *

><p><strong>Zoe Shannon <strong>to **Lucas Taylor: **Daddy taught me a song that I can sing if you try to give me free candy again: stop, don't touch me there—you know that is my no-no square! He also gave me this cool whistle…

_Jim Shannon likes this._

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha. This day just keeps getting better :)

**Lucas Taylor: **Fine. I can take a hint.

**Jim Shannon: **Next step is finding her a nice, powerful taser. Or a big thing of pepper spray.

* * *

><p><strong>Alicia Washington: <strong>Throwing landmines at carnotaurs while running fiercely through the underbrush and battling sixers. YOLO.

_Nathaniel Taylor, Laura Reilly, and four others like this._

* * *

><p><strong>Kitty Coleman: <strong>I just realized that most of the readers don't seem to like me much. Who's this Inky person and why does she want me to die a painful death at the hands of an Amazonian?

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **The same reason we ALL want you to die a painful death at the hands of an Amazonian -_-

* * *

><p><strong>Slasher <strong>to **Maddy Shannon: **I'll accept your "contract." I would've killed her anyway—her incessant whining is starting to bug me.

_Maddy Shannon likes this._

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor: <strong>Has anyone seen **Kitty Coleman**? She wasn't in her cell…

_Maddy Shannon, Mark Reynolds, and eight others like this._

**Maddy Shannon: **Gee…I haven't seen her…

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **You're right. Gosh, I hope she's okay…

**Mark Reynolds: **I'd HATE to see anything bad happen to her…

**Nathaniel Taylor: **You can stop with the sarcasm and false sincerity. I don't give a brach's ass where she went.

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon <strong>to **Malcolm Wallace: **Alright Malcolmius, I guess I should just let you know who's been indicted with vandalizing your rover…

_Malcolm Wallace, Alicia Washington, and four others like this._

**Malcolm Wallace: **TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME!

**Alicia Washington: **TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME!

**Jim Shannon: **Waiting on clearance to do so…

**Malcolm Wallace: ***growl*

* * *

><p><strong>Slasher <strong>checked into "Terra Nova Brig."

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon: <strong>Alright, alright, alright—**Slasher **was just indicted on several counts of vandalism including slashing the tires of Malcolm's rover and filling it with spray cheese. We're also investigating his possible involvement in a homicide case…

_Malcolm Wallace and Alicia Washington like this._

**Slasher: **I refuse to comment on the new allegations. I DEMAND A LAWYER!

**Malcolm Wallace: **Let's skin the dino and use him for a coat! Teach the lousy scoundrel not to go slashing people's tires…

**Slasher: **Hey look, I'm sorry okay? I'm a slasher. It's what I do.

**Nathaniel Taylor: **We're working on finding a lawyer…

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor: <strong>Anyone want to be **Slasher**'s lawyer?

_Slasher likes this._

**Zoe Shannon: **I'll do it!

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Good enough for me.

**Slasher: **Uh HELLO? She's a CHILD! I demand to see her credentials! What's her educational background?  
><strong>Zoe Shannon: <strong>Um…kindergarten?

**Slasher: **Good enough for me.

* * *

><p><strong>Jim Shannon: <strong>So, now that that's been resolved…I guess this is the end?

_Elisabeth Shannon, Nathaniel Taylor, and twenty others like this._

**Elisabeth Shannon: **I'm afraid so…

**Nathaniel Taylor: **Looks like it's the end, Sheriff.

**Malcolm Wallace: **I'm just happy that the vandal was apprehended.

* * *

><p><strong>Nathaniel Taylor: <strong>And so, loyal readers of this story, it is with heavy heart that I bid farewell to you all on behalf of myself, my security team, and all of the citizens of Terra Nova. We thank you for all of your support in this ambitious and ridiculously cracky adventure. Things have come to a close, now. Go with peace into this strange, prehistoric world. Be kind to the dinosaurs, and check out everything else that the author has written for this fandom. Thank you for your loyal dedication. It was an honor to make you laugh.

_Jim Shannon, Mark Reynolds, and twenty others like this. _

**Jim Shannon: **Ahem…attention whore.

**Nathaniel Taylor: **WHAT WAS THAT?

**Jim Shannon: **Nothing. I swear.

**Maddy Shannon: **Oh, you guys! I'm gonna miss you all soooooo much!

**Josh Shannon: **Chill, Maddy. We're still here. It's just the readers who won't be seeing these statuses anymore.

**Maddy Shannon: **I was REFERRING to the readers! Like I'd ever miss you…

**Alicia Washington: **It was a wild ride. Hugs all around. PS: Malcolm just surrendered to me in our poke war. My work here is done.

**Lucas Taylor: **So…back to the grave for you then?

**Alicia Washington: **Not a chance. I'm here to stay, baby!

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Seconded on the 'hugs all around.'

**Lucas Taylor: **Why thank you. I accept.

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Let me rectify that statement: hugs all around…except for Lucas :P

**Lucas Taylor: **:(

**Skye "Bucket" Tate: **Okay, hug for you too. Maybe you aren't SO bad…bro.

**Elisabeth Shannon: **Wow. I can't believe it's actually over. I'm crying a little bit!

**Josh Shannon: **WHY IS EVERYONE SO EMOTIONAL? IT'S NOT LIKE THEY CANCELLED OUR SERIES…oh wait.

**Mark Reynolds: **Peace out, everyone!

**Zoe Shannon: **Bye everyone! See you all soon, hopefully :)

**Jim Shannon: **And…scene! Thanks, guys!

**Porky Pig: **That's all folks!

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><p><strong>AN: So thank you for following this story through thick and thin. There were some very, VERY poorly written chapters along the way and I really wanted to end this story on a high note. I hope you guys liked it and thank you so much for bearing with me. It means so much. Every time I end a series, I feel a little bit sad, and this has been the hardest series for me to put a finisher on. It was so well-received, despite its crackiness and that means a LOT to me. I hope you'll continue to follow my other stories after this—who knows? I may just do another crack!fic at some point. Special thanks to Inkblood, metube, and all of my other loyal readers who contributed AMAZING ideas to help float this story. I wouldn't have been able to complete this thing without you all. So with all of this in mind, please leave a final review before closing out. And remember: if you ever want a good laugh, you can always come back and reread it :) Thanks guys. **

**PS: The dormouse is currently in time-out because he jacked my story for a brief moment. But don't worry. I won't be too hard on him. **

**PPS: I'm starting an "ebi pers" Twitter account so that you can all stay up-to-date on when and what I'm publishing, as well as news regarding Terra Nova as a whole. Follow me on Twitter! The handle is EbiPers. Once again, thanks for all the amazing support. I love you all and, in the wise words of Alicia Washington, "hugs all around!"I'll keep you all updated via Twitter.  
><strong>


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